I am not a Mama that rises when it is still dark to make preparations for the day. I wish I were...but it is not how I am wired. Maybe one day I will develop that discipline, but with a husband and kiddos who have always been 6am-ish risers, it hasn't happened yet.
Yesterday morning I was laying in my bed listening to my early birds play. (It was only 7am & all three were already going full speed.) My first thoughts were a bit of a groan, honestly, that even on a Summer morning this night owl was forced to get up and get with it so early.
My next thoughts were of how this is NOT the attitude I want to have. I don't want to be the person that faces the day with a groan--whose first thought is of how my needs aren't getting met. I spend my evenings reading, praying, pondering & discussing with my husband and friends the kind of woman I want to be. Yet, before I have even put my feet on the floor to start the day my selfish flesh has already crept into my reality and made me behave in a way that stands in direct opposition to my goals. I started feeling like a hypocrite.
Then, this being an Olympic year and all, I starting thinking about athletes. Many of the champions employ sports psychologists to help them with their game. I have never been anywhere close to the ranks of a competitor that would need one of those, but I am told they often teach skills of visualization and goal setting.
The first step to being a champ is setting goals and envisioning them being accomplished. It doesn't make me a hypocrite that I am a better Mama in my dreams than I am in real life--it makes me a human with aspirations. :-)
It doesn't make me a failure either. It makes me a person who cares enough to keep trying, even when it's hard.
I'm not saying that I
have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way,
reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me.
Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in
all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us
onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. Philippians 3:12-14 The Message
I am not going to beat myself up for not getting the gold medal everyday, but I AM going to keep reading, praying and striving to have a heart like His and letting that overflow into the way I treat my family.
I believe that this is the training the race of faith requires. This is the way endurance is built. And modeling that for my people will serve them much better in the world than having a 'perfect wife & mother' ever will.