I don't have any idea what really goes on behind the closed doors of people's homes. Most days it is all I can do to keep up with mine. I stumbled across a power-packed blog post from Gary Thomas this morning and was struck by the simple, profound truth. I hope someone will be blessed by my passing it along.

"Most couples don’t fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance. Persistent character weaknesses—laziness, arrogance, pride, selfishness, bitterness, a sense of entitlement, and so on—kill far more marriages than active affairs, chemical dependency or abandonment. The answer isn’t pursuing “happiness;” it’s pursuing holiness. By God’s grace, we can grow in each of these areas." -Gary Thomas

And how about this:

"Our assumption is all too often that our spouse is insufficient; therefore, the only logical solution is to get a new spouse. If we assume that our skill set is insufficient, that there are things we need to learn about not becoming lazy in our relationship, practicing empathy, growing in humility, generosity and gratefulness, then we’ll see marital dissatisfaction as a call to grow deeper in holiness rather than a call to dissolve our family." -Gary Thomas

I know, as a blog reader, that when I am hopping around I don't often take the time to follow links to other pages, but I strongly recommend this article. It is not long and the truth will be worth your 4 minutes.

I am blessed with a wonderful, kind and patient husband, but he is not a perfect person--and neither am I. As I read Gary's list in the first quote--laziness, arrogance, pride, selfishness, bitterness, a sense of entitlement--I could identify my behaviors with them all. The beautiful thing is that God chooses to put a world full of broken people into pairs. Christian couples even stand before a crowd of witnesses and enter into a covenant to glorify Him in our weakness. And a decade into my own covenant I have learned that even when it is hard, I am better for the sharpening and strengthening that happens when I have to come face to face with my flaws.

"What if, indeed, we found marriage as a call to holiness more than happiness, and then discovered that in the pursuit of holiness we actually achieved a level of happiness we never thought possible?" -Gary Thomas