K, P & R seem to be finally settling into the 1st grade routine...but Self Control is certainly the buzz phrase around here. I find that it is a very fine line between having age-appropriate behavior expectations and constantly challenging my children to rise to the next level. I am also learning that teaching/training the discipline of self control takes on a new meaning for a family with a Christian world-view.
I want to raise confident children--but it is my prayer that their confidence will be ultimately in God.
At this age and stage it involves teaching them to ask for His help with self control. It seems appropriate to use their struggles (and mine) to point out our need for Him. I have been reading a mainstream parenting book (specifically directed at ADHD, as that is an issue for one of mine). Of particular interest to me were some of the suggestions for self talk statements/phrases that you can teach your children to tell themselves when they become insecure, overwhelmed or frustrated.
This afternoon I decided to write these on sticky notes and put them in various places around our home. I modified the language slightly, to reflect our belief system that it is not all about 'them' and what they can 'muster' or make happen within themselves.
"I can do this."
"God & I can handle this situation." (Philippians 4:13)
"God & I can work this out." (Romans 8:28)
"Relax, pray and think this through." (Philippians 4:6-7)
"Getting upset won't help anything."
As I was working on this tonight I couldn't help but think I am going to benefit greatly from those little sticky note reminders too!
4 comments:
Would you share the book title you are reading? I have a seven-year-old boy who is struggling with self-control and will be evaluated for ADHD next year. It is so challenging for me but I'm accepting that I will do WHATEVER to help him and get him on a level playing field.
I'm a single mom, so the weight of responsibility falls heavily on my shoulders and I would love to hear the book title - thanks!
Missy- First of all, bless you. I can only imagine how overwhelming it is to deal with this issue as a single Mama. I HIGHLY recommend this book: http://www.amazon.com/Reach-Teach-Children-ADHD-Interventions/dp/0787972959/ref=dp_ob_title_bk
It has been extremely helpful to me!!!
I taught school as well as raise my three - I so know what you are going through.
I thought it would bless you to read from two of my children in their 20's who have each posted an article on my blog regarding making choices.
http://dianetohline.com/mom-control-vs-self-control/
http://dianetohline.com/whos-the-boss/
great when they can look back and give their perspective. My daughter is a great school teacher now - i loved what she had to share.
I admire the job you are doing and love reading your blog.
Diane
Thank you for the suggestion - God is good to us single mamas and I am blessed with excellent support. Yes, VERY challenging! But like you, I know God will use even this to turn my little guy to Himself. It sure has driven me to prayer and dependence.
Have a great weekend!
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