The $84 Lesson

Yesterday afternoon, a good friend of mine reported to me that she had gotten a ticket on a well-known speed trap road in our town. (My husband got his first ticket in 19 years of driving in the same place a few years ago.) And today, despite her warning less than 24 hours ago, I got my first ticket in a decade...from the same officer...in the same place.

Unfortunately, I have a fair bit of experience with speeding tickets. I am a reformed speed demon. I am not proud of the fact that I was pulled over 7 times in my first 3 years of driving. I was ridiculous. I confess that while I was not promiscuous or a wild partier in my adolescence, I was often very reckless with my driving. (When I was an invincible 19 year old I got a ticket for going 101 mph in a 55 zone...like I said before, I was reckless and ridiculous.) The friend that was in the car with me when it happened was killed on the same stretch of highway 3 months later...It straightened me out.

The road I was traveling on today has 35 mph posted limits, but the average speed in 45-50. So, today, like many other days, I was doing what the accepted 'norm' is, rather than following the rules that are posted for public safety. I wasn't in a hurry. I didn't have a legitimate excuse. I was simply breaking the law in a way that didn't really seem to matter.

Our babysitter and all three of my children were with me as this motorcycle riding officer pulled out behind me, turned on his lights and pulled me over. I knew instantly he was after me--and that I deserved it.

I briefly worried about what my children were gong to make of all this, then pulled over, handed him my license and respectfully answered his questions. I politely accepted my ticket (and explained to the children that I was not going to have to go to jail, just pay an $84 fine).

As we drove away I thought about the opportunity it presented for discussing the consequences of breaking rules--and the appropriate response to discipline. I explained to the trio that there was no need for me to pitch a fit or to be angry with the sneaky traffic cop. It wasn't his fault. The rules are clear. I chose to break them. My behavior earned the consequence. His punishment was a way to keep us (and other people) safe.

I didn't attempt to make excuses or blame the too-low speed limit. I simply acknowledged my wrongdoing. What is it about the world that makes that seem so difficult? Mess up. Fess up. Honestly evaluate your wrongdoing, accept your consequences, make restitution then do just what we did...ease back onto the road and move on.

It was an expensive moral lesson--but one I hope the children will remember in years to come.

***As an entertaining aside, we were returning from a visit to pick blueberries at our old house. (We moved from there 4 1/2 years ago but have not sold it yet.)

We noticed while there that someone had stolen our old dog house--random, but true. My children were quite upset about the theft and kept asking me why I hadn't called the police yet to report the crime, "so they could come and look for fingerprints."

After the officer approached my window for the license P piped in from the backseat, "While you have him, Mom, tell him about the robbers who took our doghouse!!"

At least the officer has a good story to go home and tell his wife!