Last Tuesday when we boarded our flight from Atlanta to Salt Lake City, we experienced a very rude response from the passengers flying in the row ahead of us. We have traveled a good bit with our children. I am accustomed to the worried looks on passengers faces as we approach the gate area. I am also aware that as we board the plane and march down the center aisle many passengers breathe a sigh of relief when we walk past their row--especially on long flights.
The reaction from these two women, however, was unlike anything I have experienced. They were immediately disgusted that we were sitting behind them--and they were not discreet about it. As we entered the aisle one of them said, "Oh. No. Can you believe this? Oh my gawd." She sighed loudly in exasperation.
The other replied, "Oh. Gawd. Seriously? Oh. my. Gaaaahd."
Their banter went back and forth three times.
I have taken long flights with unruly children and weepy babies. Before I was a mother I once flew on a red eye from Hawaii to Atlanta with a sick, screaming infant behind me who never quieted down. I know it can be taxing. I get that some people don't like children, but I was offended by their obnoxious remarks made not only within my ear shot (repeatedly) but about and within hearing range of my children.
I am not sure I prayed first, but after the third exchange, I did speak.
"They are actually very well behaved. This is not their first flight."
My husband shot me a cautionary look. My inner Mama bear was being roused from her slumber.
"Well, I just don't want a kid throwing up on me," one of the women replied. "I had that happen before, you know?" She never looked me in the eye, but the edge in her voice let me know that there was little I could say to change her mind.
"I think you'll be safe," I assured her.
Then I held my breath, prayed and let my children know how important it was that they be on their BEST behavior. (Thankfully, there were televisions in the backs of the seats that held their rapt attention for the majority of the flight.)
I was uptight the whole time--very concerned with these strangers' opinions of my children. I couldn't shake that feeling of their scornful eyes and their negative reception of my people. They didn't even want to give them a chance. They assumed the worst of them.
I thought of the challenge of sending our children out into the world--precious, vulnerable, tender hearts that we have done our best to protect. This world can be hard and cruel. The reception will not always be warm. I certainly won't always be there to defend their reputations--nor will they always make choices I feel led to defend.
We cannot protect them forever...but we can equip them. Our job is to love them up and to fill them with such truth that they can immediately discern the lies of the world. We must suit them up in protective gear, ready for whatever is waiting. (Ephesians 6:13-18)
The women never apologized or acknowledged that the children behaved beautifully. I was so relieved when we arrived in St. Lake City and changed planes for our connecting flight to Bozeman--until I saw them heading for the same gate. Guess who sat immediately behind us on the second flight? They cursed like sailors and spoke of things that made my ears burn. At least they abstained from their snide remarks.
It was a vivid reminder of the brokenness, hurt and negativity that permeates this world. I decided that in addition to the armor of God, I wanted to suit my children with headphones that block out the hurtfulness and ugliness. Unfortunately, I know it is not that simple. I can't keep them bubble wrapped forever...but I sure am tempted to!
As I was looking for a passage tonight about finding favor with man, I came across Proverbs 3. The first half of the chapter seems a fitting prayer for our children and the ultimate goal of releasing them into the world:
"Don't forget all I've taught you; take to heart my commands. They'll help you live a long, long time,a long life lived full and well.
Don't lose your grip on Love and Loyalty. Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart. Earn a reputation for living well in God's eyes and the eyes of the people.
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!" Proverbs 3: 1-12 The Message
8 comments:
How sad that those women did not give your children a chance, admit when they were wrong, or keep their mouths shut especially when they were sitting behind you. It sounds like your kiddos showed them that there are some children who are good travelers - unlike themselves!
Oh I'm sorry- I remember that. Actually the throw up thing could very well be my fault. 12 years ago my oldest threw up all over a woman in the airport on a flight from Colorado to Atlanta. Drenched her. It was awful then, but it's one of my favorite funny stories. Glad y'all had fun!
I am a silent follower of your blog and find you very uplifting at crucial times in my parenting. When I stray in being purposeful in my parenting I am always drawn back to your blog.
Last June my family relocated from Dallas to Singapore. Can you imagine the looks on a flight that lasts 24 hours? I stroll in with 4 year old twin girls and a 6 yr old boy! People looked horrified. Kids seem to rise to the occasion when we need it most.
Thanks again,
Ivy
I am sorry that those ladies were so rude....I certainly understand your Mama Bear coming out. I am a Nana Mama Bear. Our precious four year old granddaughter has had a hard yr at preschool because another little girl has been so ugly to our K. K's sweet Aunty told her"Well J is just missing out by not playing with a fun girl like you!" It was just what K needed to hear. I guess we just have to continually build them up and remind them that not everyone in the world will like us.
I am flying with my baby tomorrow for the first time and wanted to say thank you for the encouragement in this post! I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share your life with us. This may have been just the encouragement I need!! Thank you!
I couldn't help but think about how these women were not exactly the example given in Titus 2:2 "holy in their behavior, not speaking against others" or verse 4 "teach young women to love their husbands, to love their children" (NCV). So sad you and your family had to endure the rudeness of others!
"My inner Mama bear was being roused from her slumber.." ...great one! I feel this often. It's almost like it starts bubbling until it's boiling over and at that point I can no longer sit on my tongue! I can't believe people act this way. Obviously children they have been around before weren't disciplined as yours are, but STILL! Great post once again!
This post just makes me angry that people can be so rude and self centered. My husband works in the airline business and he continually tells me stories of the flying "public" and it is always amazing how rude and unbelievable people can be. Good for you for speaking up. I would have done the same thing.
I hear you on the Mama Bear being roused. It always amazes me when that happens and how powerful it can be. We were at a school fundraiser event a few weeks back and I was waiting in line with one of my three. It was taking forever, then I finally zoned in on what was happening when I realized that a few women ahead of us in line kept letting their kids come up and jump in line. I finally said something (so unlike me) but it was making me angry that they women could be so self centered and not think of the rest of the kids in line.
Being a mom to school age kids has brought the mama bear out too. My little guy has been picked on this year and it was not something I was prepared for in Kindergarten. WOW! I get fired up. You are right that our little people have to learn these lessons about being out in the world and I think my kids especially my boy has learned some hard lessons this year in school but it is hard to watch as a parent.
Here's to you and your post and being a "roused" mama bear! God Bless.
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