Friday afternoon I read this article by Mark Driscoll on how his family handles the Santa issue. While I am not sure I am quite ready for the radical approach he has taken, a sentence at the beginning of his article has been stuck in my brain:
"When it comes to cultural issues like Santa, Christians have three options: (1) we can reject it, (2) we can receive it, or (3) we can redeem it."
This really sums up the pervasive theme of my Advent celebration so far this year. I love the idea of taking the traditions of the season and evaluating them through this lens. Which parts will we reject? Which traditions will we enthusiastically receive? What parts of Christmas do we need to redeem?
This year Christmas cards were on my list of traditions to redeem. I love stationery, photographs and handwritten mail. As a result, I eagerly anticipate sending and receiving cards each year. After reading the Advent Conspiracy, I was challenged to look at the expense associated with cards and ask myself: Why? What is the point? I am on facebook. I keep up this blog. Could I justify the time and money involved in a card?
Ultimately, God led me to an idea to redeem the tradition. This year, I committed to hand address each envelope and write a little something inside cards of people with whom I had lost touch. Additionally, I pledged to pray for each recipient by name as I was addressing, stamping and stuffing their card. I hope it means something to the recipients, because restoring meaning to the tradition has been a blessing to me.
I am challenged to take this criteria beyond this season and apply it to other aspects of my life/culture: Receive it? Reject it? Redeem it?
I want to learn this for myself and model it for my children. Living life with intention adds so much purpose! I pray the Lord will grant me discernment to know the answer in various situations and the courage and strength to follow through.
6 comments:
Thanks for the link to the article, J. The Receive-Reject-Redeem filter is wise (and very Baptist - 3 point alliteration).
I'm curious to know what about Driscoll's approach seemed radical to you. Is it because he tells his children from the get-go that Santa is fake?
Hey Kelly, maybe radical was the wrong word choice...but yeah, I don't think I could do it. I don't think he is wrong. I can absolutely see where he is coming from. I just don't know anyone else personally doing that so it is hard to wrap my brain around how it would look in real life. Do y'all do this?
I love your idea for the cards!!!
The whole Santa isssue is indeed a sticky topic for Christians. I understand the view point that it is like lying to our children when we perpetuate the gift giving of Santa Claus. But where does that "no lying rule" stop? When our daughter comes down dressed as a princess do we say "no, you are not a princess?" Childhood is full of pretend and make believe so I've always wondered where the lien is drawn.
I can look at this as a mother of two young adults. Neither of them showed any resentment or sense of betrayal after learning that mom and dad were in fact Santa. In fact, I really think "playing Santa" is an excellent first lesson in giving without receiving credit. When children learn, at whatever age they do, that Santa is a fairy tale, they also learn that, for that many years, mom and dad quietly gave simply for the joy of giving and not to receive the big Thank You of the day.
This is not to say that I find others' viewpoints on the issue offensive because I don't. It's just one more thing that makes this parenting journey so interesting and challenging.
I do like Mr. Driscoll's approach to it in that he has not "shunned" Santa altogether.
Before I state my thoughts on this issue, let me make it clear that I don't find fault with the 99% of parents who "do" Santa Claus.
My issue with Santa Claus is that it begins with pretending (which is fun and exciting), but it can require the parents to make up additional parts of the story in answer to children's questions, which is where my discomfort comes in.
I remember asking my mom and dad questions about Santa (why is there a Kmart price tage on my gift from Santa? how did Santa get the same wrapping paper that we used for others' gifts?, etc etc), and all of the stories they had to make up - on the fly, mind you - to explain away my doubts. I absolutely DON'T resent them for doing this, nor did I ever find that I didn't trust them later in life because of those stories.
However, when I tried to imagine myself answering my own children's questions like that, it just didn't feel comfortable to me. I wanted to be able to tell my children that I'll always tell them nothing but the truth (except when we're pretending together for fun), and that they don't ever have to doubt my words. And if I sprinkled in lies to answer their Santa questions, then I wouldn't be able to make that statement to them.
Again, I do not fault anyone - Christian or not - who does Santa the usual way; it just comes down to comfort level for me. And it just so happens that my husband agrees with me on this point, which makes it nice. :-)
All of this being said, I have to tell you how things played out for us once our oldest child was 2 1/2 years old. She saw Santa and loved him. We told her how much fun it is to pretend about Santa, and we taught her about St. Nick. As she got older, we answered with a "no" when she asked if Santa is real. And yet....she (and her younger brother and sister) persist in believing in Santa Claus, seemingly because they WANT to believe. And so, not wanting to take away the magic that they obviously desire to enjoy, we now give vague answers to their Santa questions. We try not to outright lie or to make things up, but we don't discourage their belief in Santa and all that he entails.
Sorry to write a book here! I just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents worth(actually more like a dollar, now that I've used all these words) on the Santa topic. :-)
Keri- Thanks so much for entering into this convo with the alternate view. We are actually more alike than you know. I do not go to great lengths to perpetuate the myth. I tend to answer most detailed questions with a shrug of my shoulders. My imaginative people always fill in their own blanks about what they think the answer is anyway... :-)
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