Tuesday, January 04, 2011

A Note

As my children get older I find myself struggling more with how to write about certain aspects of their lives. I started writing 6 years ago for a close group of family and friends. My children were babies.

As my readership has grown and my children have learned to read, I have become increasingly concerned about protecting their privacy. Nothing particularly Earth shattering has happened, but there have been more frequent situations where I have had to pause and ponder the appropriateness of repeating a story on the Internet.

I would hate for my need to share a story to wind up harming my children in any way. I want to continue to document this journey through motherhood--but I am mindful that the lines can sometimes get blurry between my story and theirs.

I feel like God is using this little blog--in my life and in the lives of others. I don't intend to stop writing. Authenticity is important to me. I am just trying to determine how to balance authenticity with privacy--some days it is easier than others.

So, I ask for your prayers: for wisdom and discernment. I also ask for patience as I work through this in a way that is God honoring, authentic and respectful of my children.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5 NIV

7 comments:

GinnyBerry said...

I have a similar problem. I can't blog about some important things because they impact other's privacy, yet they are important to me.. For me, the situation has stopped me from blogging often at all. I'm hoping that you find a better way to get around this issue. I've been reading and enjoying your blog for several years and have both enjoyed your writing, seeing those precious children grow up, andrelating your parenting experiences to my own. I do think is harder for you as the children have gotten older. My children are now 24 and 25, still living at home, and I really can't blog much at all about them.

Love Being a Nonny said...

Understandable. Hmmm. I will pray for discernment for you. We all love hearing the precious stories about your three.

Kylie and crew. said...

I of course love your blog so much and feel inspired by you often but I understand where you are at. I've noticed that in your stories you are starting to write, "one of the children...." I think that's great! The who isn't whats important!

I also struggle with how much to share and what's appropriate and what my children will read down the road and how it will make them feel as a junior higher, a college student and one day even a parent. It's a fine line. I'll pray for you....thanks for asking.

Sisters said...

I understand the dilema. I want to badly to blog about my family, the good, the bad, and the ugly. But don't because I don't want anyone to treat the child differently just because of a story I told on my blog. And I surely don't want one of my children to think that I was sharing, with strangers, something out of turn, or embarrasing to them.
Your honesty in your struggles as being a mother, wife, friend insprire me. I have read your blog for years. I have twin boys who are 9, and a daughter that is 6. Reading your posts helps me know that I am not the only one. I know I'm not, but sometimes I forget!!
I'll pray that you find the balance you need to share your feelings and stories and also protect your children.

Julie

Peter and Nancy said...

Our pastor has expressed a similar tightrope walk, although his kids are now in their 20s. As soon as they were old enough to feel embarrassed (8 years old or so, depending on the child), he always asked their permission before talking about them in a sermon. He also chose not to share many, many things about their family life, while still being authentic about his own struggles as a husband and father.

He's done a great job respecting his children's dignity while remaining real . . . similar to how you've handled stories about your kids. I think it's great how you won't specify names or gender when you want to make a larger point, and I appreciate you sharing motherhood and your Christian walk with your internet "friends."
Nancy

Keri said...

I think you'll do well praying for wisdom in this area and then erring on the side of caution if you're undecided about sharing a story.

I'll never forget one sweet mom blogger who shared a very shocking and sensitive story about a child. The event she was writing about had her reeling, and in her haste to make sense of it, she went to the place where she was accustomed to sharing her thoughts and feelings with her beloved readers.

Then her husband found out that she had posted about the event and quickly pointed out that particular story shouldn't be shared, so she removed the post without hesitation and apologized in a separate post for sharing such personal information. I know her child will grow up one day to appreciate that this event was kept off the internet.

I'm just passing along that story as something to keep in mind as you go forward. As women, our first instinct is almost always to share, isn't it? But you're right - your children will be blessed by your discernment here!

Sherri said...

I have worried about the same thing and do spend a lot of time making sure that if one of my children were to sit down and read my blog that it would be okay. I don't put anything on mine that I wouldn't say to or in front of my children. My daughter does read my blog and one day my sons will. Right now, I am in the process of printing mine out and putting it into albums. I am constantly trying to balance privacy with honesty.