Distracted

My P is struggling lately with his tendency to become easily distracted. In a recent conference his wise and wonderful kindergarten teacher pointed out that it isn't so much an inability to focus--as a propensity to overly focus on the wrong things. I can identify.

In P's case it is especially challenging because his primary distraction is reading. He is a gifted, proficient and voracious reader. His appetite for words--whether it be books, random instruction manuals or cereal boxes is insatiable. I find it somewhat difficult to reign in because I am aware there are legions of mothers who would love nothing more than for their 6 year old boy to enjoy reading.

However, the simple fact of the matter is that his reading is often a substitute for compliance. Even at school, he would rather read a book than do math or music or many other things. It is a way to stay in his comfort zone, but it is also a clever disguise for disobedience. Again, I can identify. How often am I guilty of doing 'good things' that I enjoy/want to do instead of obediently carrying out the tasks/assignments I know I need to do?

A recurrent struggle for us is that when P is so wrapped up in his reading, he seems to have trouble hearing my voice and completing tasks I ask him to do. After months of dealing with this and eliminating other possibilities, I am convinced his hearing is fine--he just gets lost in his imagination to the exclusion of his surroundings. God reminded me recently that this, too, is a tendency we share. I, too, must learn to train my ears to hear the voice of the One who leads me and guides me. I can get pretty wrapped up in my circumstances, world, etc.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. John 10:27 NIV

Perhaps my biggest Aha moment came a few mornings ago when I found P half dressed reading in the playroom when it was past time to leave for school. My tone did not mask my frustration as I came up the stairs and told him it was time to go. "Why are you reading when you are not dressed?"

Jerked back into reality, P freaked out. He became so overwhelmed by his wake up call that he was unable to complete his tasks. Instead he just cried.  

God was gracious to show me a picture of myself. When I get overwhelmed by the chaos of my noisy home or endless to do list, I often escape to reading. I can get lost in it. When I am suddenly awakened to the time, I can freak out a bit too. I realized that my struggles with P were common. It simply looks different in a 6 year old than it does in this 36 year old. I need to help him along--but I need to do so with a bit more grace.

As he stood somewhat frozen in front of his socks and shoes, I bent down and said, "P, you know Mommy does this sometimes too. You know how I linger in the kitchen after breakfast sometimes, reading the news....then I come upstairs panicked because I am still in my pajamas and it is almost time to go? Mommy likes to read more than I like to do my list sometimes too. We can work on this together."

Just then, a precious, tender smile crossed my boy's face. It was a look that conveyed one message loud and clear: You understand? Thank you! Then he leaned over and tenderly kissed my head and gave me a hug.

I was left thinking about how much it means to have a person in authority who sympathizes with your weaknesses. It means so much that Jesus walked on this Earth and experienced many of the emotional/moral/spiritual struggles we face. 

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Hebrews 4:15 NIV

We do not follow a Master who is distant and removed. Isn't that a comforting thought?

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me so many things every day through my stumbles and foibles as a parent. I am having to eat a lot more crow in front of my children than I had anticipated--but it is good. (Not the crow so much as the lessons.) I see my sin more clearly and appreciate your grace more fully. I love you, Lord.