Many of us had hoped God would heal Mike Sweeney on this Earth. It was somewhat selfish. We believe, as Christians, that to live is Christ and to die (and be with Him forever) is gain. There was no fear of death itself--it was more the preference that we have more years here with him.

When our Young Life committee hired Sweeney 3 years ago after 7 years of prayer and fundraising, we had hoped they would be here for a very long time. Sweeney & Cabell were a powerful tag team in ministry and in life. Their love for one another so evident and true. The last time I saw Sweeney (Saturday morning) he was a shell of his former self and yet, Cabell stood at his bedside very tenderly caressing his shoulder and gazing at him as if he were the finest specimen of a man she had ever seen. In my feeble human brain it just didn't seem fair. This couple, committed in marriage for more than a decade, separated by death when there appeared to be so much more life to live.

I did not want to see my friend Sweeney suffer with this horrible disease. I did not want to see my friend Cabell lose her beloved spouse at such a young age. I did not want to watch the hearts of our dear college-aged leaders be exposed to the difficulty of losing someone young that you care about. I did not want to feel this old. I did not want to have to watch my precious husband lose such a dear friend.

Because my husband was Sweeney's surgeon, in addition to friend, it has been a very unique journey. I have to tell you that one of my constant prayers for my man is true male friendship. His grueling and unpredictable work hours make connecting with him quite difficult. He is unable to participate in weekly small groups. When he is not working he is committed to being with our little family. Sweeney is the first non-medical man in over a decade to make it a priority to spend time with my husband in a way that did not intrude on family time. Sweeney would come sit with my hubby from 8-9:15 on the nights I was leading Bible Study. It worked great because I was out anyway and the children were in bed. He got creative, inconvenienced himself and pursued friendship with the man I love. It may seem like a little thing...but it was this type of investing in other people that made Sweeney so special.

Watching my husband labor over studies, scans, research, correspondence, etc in an effort to help Sweeney defeat cancer in the last 19 months has made my husband's career choice incredibly personal. I cannot believe these are the types of burdens he bears with families all day every day. He does so with godly compassion, quiet strength and wisdom because God has called him to. Watching it up close...down to the vigil into the wee hours of the morning today...has changed the way I look at him.

I don't want to get on a tangent, but anyone who thinks doctors are in their professions for the money has never walked 24 hours in my man's clogs.

My husband is heartbroken and I really, really hate that.

It has also changed the way I look at relationships. The moments shared as friends and I have labored in prayer for the Sweeneys are truly sacred. There is absolutely no substitute for 'doing life' with other believers. Oh, how the Lord shows His goodness through the tenderness of other people. I hope I never forget the unbelievable sense of peace and protection that surrounded us during the vigil at the hospital the last few days.

And despite all the alternative outcomes that we had hoped for, the bottom line is that through this excruciating journey we all had HOPE. Hope that this is not the end. Hope that we serve a Sovereign God who loves both Cabell and Sweeney (and all the other lives that have been touched ) far more than we can imagine. Hope that we will see each other again. Hope that He has defeated death for eternity.