Wistful

I have been feeling a bit wistful today. I was reminded this weekend that my children are closer to their 6th birthday than their 5th. How can it be?

I think the reality of my children growing up comes in waves. As Moms we can get so caught up in the here and now we miss the development happening right under our noses. Every now and then I get the gift of a moment that reminds me how much they are growing and changing. I am so thankful for reminders to stop and breathe deeply. This is their childhood. This is the evolution of our family. These days are the foundation for who and what they will become in the years ahead.

Sometimes it is in the little things...like how ridiculously big my boys looked when they tried to ride in a cart at Kroger this afternoon.

Or the fact that I can only put them in the tub one at a time now.

Or how as I was flipping through a children's clothing catalog today I realized all the male clothing choices were intended for children younger than mine.

Other times it is on our conversation. Last week on our way home from school K shared with me that someone had invited her to do something she wasn't sure she was allowed to do. When she told the girl she needed to ask her Mommy the reply was: "Even if she says no you can and we won't tell her." (This was a conversation between 5 year olds...Yikes! Peer pressure starts early!) I was so glad she chose to tell me about it. May it always be so!

I realize I still have a lot of parenting left to do. While I am thoroughly enjoying so much about their independence and creativity, I am realizing that the way they need me now is a bit more complex. Their questions are deep, probing, challenging. Their decision making about right and wrong is being formulated.

This week (on separate occasions) my boys have each come to me to confess something they did (knowingly) that they should not have. It is hard to describe the pride I felt in them for fessing up honestly, mixed with my conflict over what type of punishment they should face for acts of willful disobedience. I want to set the right stage early on.

I love playing with them these days, as we can actually play real games with rules and strategy--and they finally are getting a sense of humor that makes a bit more sense!

And every now and then they allow me a little glimpse of my babies. It usually comes in the middle of the night because of a nightmare or at bedtime when I'll get a request to hold me like a baby and "sing that song you used to sing to me, Mama."

I can't help but smile as I think about who they are becoming. Uniquely individual, tightly bonded, lifelong friends. They are genetically ours, but clearly designed by and for Him.

Thank you, Father, for entrusting these three to my care. I am so grateful. I love being a Mom.