Back in September a series of events led my friend Beth and I to discuss deeming January a "Mary Month." We did not clearly establish the rules, but the idea was to heed the advice given to a very busy (or responsible and productive, as I like to think of her) Martha when her sister Mary chose to sit at the feet of Jesus while she rushed around preparing to honor him.
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:42 NIV
We discussed keeping our calendars as free as possible for the month of January--to spend less time 'running around' filling up every minute while our children are in school and to spend more time at home--reading, praying, homemaking. In my heart I envisioned more of the quiet life described in I Thessalonians 4.
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. I Thessalonians 4:11-12 (NIV)
A couple of weeks ago, after our marathon weekend of fundraisers, football and theater it became apparent to me that I needed to start my Mary Month a little earlier. As strange as it seems, in the midst of the very busy Christmas season, I reduced my standard operating speed from 95 miles an hour to about 15.
People noticed. I got phone calls and texts from friends and colleagues who were concerned because I had become so unseen. "Where are you?" "Are you OK?" was seen a half a dozen times in my Inbox.
The people in my family also noticed. My children had a Mommy who was a bit more patient. My laundry got caught up. Closets were cleaned out. All presents were wrapped and all Christmas cards were sent. I finally finished a novel (The Help--awesome!). My husband came home to a wife who was excited to tell him my stories because I hadn't already told them all over town first.
I have not used this as an excuse to simply flake out on responsibility--and I have honestly missed things that I would have enjoyed attending. But this morning in missing one of those things I got a huge lesson! I was planning to go to a friend's home for coffee and a Beth Moore video about Advent. In the craziness of getting children off for their last day of the semester with gifts, pajama day attire, class party goodies, etc...I forgot about it. It wasn't until I was reflecting on how nice it was to be unrushed in my errands on the last day before Christmas Break that I realized the oversight on my calendar.
I considered rushing over, realizing I would only have about 45 minutes before I had to return to school for festivities. I opted for a leisurely errand--and with that extra time had a powerful conversation with someone I don't know very well. Ironically, she was my neighbor until a couple of weeks ago, but this morning in the bakery was the most conversation we've ever had. I apologized for being a bad neighbor--blaming the busy-ness of life and kids. As I walked out I was struck by what my busy-ness had allowed me to miss--and what my free time this morning had allowed me to learn.
And I thought of Martha and Mary. Martha's heart was in the right place. She was hurrying around working hard on her preparations for Jesus. It sounds much like many of us--especially this time of year. We are scurrying for HIM. That counts for something, right?
I read Jesus' words again: "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better."
It is not BAD to be busy. (I am relieved to hear that, as being a Mary the other 11 months of the year will be very contrary to my nature!) It is not bad, but being still and attentive is BETTER. I am hopeful the Spirit will lead me to a place of BALANCE where I can be BOTH appropriately.
11 comments:
Thank you. What a moving post that touches me deep. I never sit still, and often I am like "what am I doing this for?!" The other day I even fell in the mud room running to get the kids to story time on time. I thought now how important is it they get there if I kill myself in the process?? LOL It is so hard sometimes for us type A's to learn this lesson. I am trying and trying more each day.
Beautifully written. I have a favor- when you get the balance part figured out, could you please fill me in on how? I feel like I'm running just to catch myself lately. (Have you heard that song? "Running Just to Catch Myself"- Mark Schultz? - if not listen to it, it will make you laugh a little!)
That was excellent.... and strangely ironic, since I have been feeling a need for simplicity this season as well.
I am just now finishing Beth Moore's Esther....and as a segue from your description of an early beginning to your "Mary Month", I am also taking time out tomorrow to celebrate victories that I know God has already won in His heavenly realm, yet have not been realized in my realm (that I can see anyway). I know it seems strange to do this before a week of the ultimate celebration of Christ's birth.....but for me, it's the perfect prelude....and I suppose it's something Mary might have done??
I hope you have a wonderful, peaceful week leading up to your Christmas....
Your writing has touched me more than you know.
Amy@balmingilead.typepad.com
Jen, I too tend to be more of a Martha, but I think Martha did learn from what Jesus said to her. When Lazarus died, Martha was first to the tomb to meet Jesus and she made that brilliant profession of faith!! I totally agree with you that we all can slow down a bit and just having time to study and reflect. BTW, I also just finished the Help and I think it is one of the best books that I have read this yr! Hope you and your family have a blessed Christmas. I really enjoy reading your blog and appreciate your faithfulness to post regularly.
Hey...so weird...you know I did the same thing. I missed B's advent thing because I thought it was at the church. And ironically, you know what I listened to on the radio? A sermon on Mary and Martha...Coincidence? I think not!
Thank you so much for posting this today. It is something I very much needed to hear.
I just read The Help as well, and loved it! Raced through it in three evenings after work, couldn't put it down!
Such a good lesson. Thanks for this today.
JMom, Your posts almost always leave me thinking. And convicted! Thank you so much for being honest about your struggles. I also have three beautiful children (but not triplets)-almost 5 yrs, 2.5 yrs, and 3 months. I was telling/complaining to a friend this morning that my tree was up but not decorated, the nativity was not put up (at least the pretty one, we have several toy ones for playing with), etc. Your post reminded me that these things are not what is important. I need to slow down and be a mommy first. I need to be a good friend. I need to see others that need help and not be in such a rush to get to the next place. Thank you for sharing your heart and your struggles as well as your successes!
Kendra
Sounds delightful...do you have any suggestions for us working moms who don't have the opportunity to tell our employers that we're taking a Martha month (or year? Or life?)?
Reading through the comments seems to indicate mostly SAHM's (breaking neck to get to story time) and I've not heard you ever refer to working (in the present day) so maybe it won't apply to most of your circle and readership...but I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.
In my world, Martha-month isn't about turning down story time and cupcake making. I'm gone 50-ish hours a week commuting and working in a highly stressful, demanding, year-round job (some, but not much, on-call also). I routinely am home 1hr-90 minutes total with my children awake during a weekday. I work out of necessity, am the primary breadwinner in our house. How to find a balance given those non-negotiables? Interested to hear what you think. Always enjoy the blog :)
Buckeye NIP- Great questions. I do not work for profit these days. I have about 12 hours a week of committed time related to Board Chairmanships and support I offer my husband from an accounting/bookkeping perspective...certainly nothing like the number of hours that you mention...and I get to be pretty flexible about when those hours happen.
I am hopeful others in your situation will comment. I do know there are working Moms who read the blog.
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