Instead, I found myself suffering severe nausea by 8am. We missed the chocolate fountain (which drew tears from all three of my children). As a sitter came to provide 5 hours of rainy day, indoor entertainment I slept off the effects of Phenagren. At 1:30 I woke up and realized we were definitely not going to make it to our conferences. Instead, I headed for the Dr.'s office where blood was drawn to rule out surgical complications.
Then I sat in the exam room and cried like a baby. Once I opened the flood gates I could not stop. The sweet nurses had no idea what to do with me. I tried to assure them the tears were not really about pain--they were a combination of how terrible I felt and the fear and overwhelm that completely took over my thinking. Am I going to be admitted to the hospital? My hubby is on call, most of my friends and neighbors are out of town on Spring Break, both sets of grandparents are out of town: what am I going to do with my children? Do they think I am a crazy, attention seeking, hypochondriac? Oh my, I am hysterical in a doctor's office! Get it together, woman!
A gentle, kind nurse named Kathy came to my rescue. She assured me it was Ok to be a little overwhelmed. She gave me time to get it together, then accompanied me to my car--and I drove home. My sweet friend, Laurie, had come to relieve the babysitter and she waited until the lab results came back. Turns out I had a small hematoma on my liver from surgery. This is harmless, except if you overdo things like lifting or strenuous activities before it absorbs it can cause severe nausea. So now I am SLOWING down on strenuous things like laundry, bed making and grocery shopping for another few days. Otherwise, I am A-OK.
At about 5 pm, P said, "Mama, is it time to do all the fun things you told us about at breakfast yet?" I had to break the news to the kiddos that we had cancelled everything. As a compromise, they decided to have their own sleepover in the boys' room. Predictably, it took them a little while to settle down...but they slept all night and it warmed my heart to see them safely nestled all together again.
I was frustrated that our "Fun Friday' had not turned out as I had planned...and fearful the rest of the weekend and coming week's plans were now touch and go. I don't like to live that way. I want to commit and follow through. I want to be dependable. I don't have to have every detail planned, but I certainly enjoy a good outline.
As I made it to the computer, I read some disappointing news from the Sweeneys and suddenly my terrible day and frustrated plans were put in a whole new perspective.
Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that."James 4:14-15 NAS
This is the less than glamorous part of being a Christian. When we entrust our future to God and surrender our lives, it means surrendering our plans. It means following where He leads with the faith that He has a plan--even when it means detours we would have never chosen for ourselves. Truly trusting God requires us to believe His Good and His Plan trumps ours every time...even when we don't understand.