Saturday, March 14, 2009

Making Plans

Yesterday started with a great plan. The children were out of school for parent-teacher conferences. Ours were not scheduled until later in the day so we were going to attend a very fun event at a local elementary school in the morning (which included a chocolate fountain!) followed by lunch at Chic-fil-A. A sitter was coming from 1-3 while I conferred with the teachers, then we were going to attend our first tee ball practice and meet out of town friends for dinner and a sleepover at our house. It was the perfect plan for a rainy day when Daddy was on call.

Instead, I found myself suffering severe nausea by 8am. We missed the chocolate fountain (which drew tears from all three of my children). As a sitter came to provide 5 hours of rainy day, indoor entertainment I slept off the effects of Phenagren. At 1:30 I woke up and realized we were definitely not going to make it to our conferences. Instead, I headed for the Dr.'s office where blood was drawn to rule out surgical complications.

Then I sat in the exam room and cried like a baby. Once I opened the flood gates I could not stop. The sweet nurses had no idea what to do with me. I tried to assure them the tears were not really about pain--they were a combination of how terrible I felt and the fear and overwhelm that completely took over my thinking. Am I going to be admitted to the hospital? My hubby is on call, most of my friends and neighbors are out of town on Spring Break, both sets of grandparents are out of town: what am I going to do with my children? Do they think I am a crazy, attention seeking, hypochondriac? Oh my, I am hysterical in a doctor's office! Get it together, woman!

A gentle, kind nurse named Kathy came to my rescue. She assured me it was Ok to be a little overwhelmed. She gave me time to get it together, then accompanied me to my car--and I drove home. My sweet friend, Laurie, had come to relieve the babysitter and she waited until the lab results came back. Turns out I had a small hematoma on my liver from surgery. This is harmless, except if you overdo things like lifting or strenuous activities before it absorbs it can cause severe nausea. So now I am SLOWING down on strenuous things like laundry, bed making and grocery shopping for another few days. Otherwise, I am A-OK.

At about 5 pm, P said, "Mama, is it time to do all the fun things you told us about at breakfast yet?" I had to break the news to the kiddos that we had cancelled everything. As a compromise, they decided to have their own sleepover in the boys' room. Predictably, it took them a little while to settle down...but they slept all night and it warmed my heart to see them safely nestled all together again.

I was frustrated that our "Fun Friday' had not turned out as I had planned...and fearful the rest of the weekend and coming week's plans were now touch and go. I don't like to live that way. I want to commit and follow through. I want to be dependable. I don't have to have every detail planned, but I certainly enjoy a good outline.

As I made it to the computer, I read some disappointing news from the Sweeneys and suddenly my terrible day and frustrated plans were put in a whole new perspective.

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that."James 4:14-15 NAS

This is the less than glamorous part of being a Christian. When we entrust our future to God and surrender our lives, it means surrendering our plans. It means following where He leads with the faith that He has a plan--even when it means detours we would have never chosen for ourselves. Truly trusting God requires us to believe His Good and His Plan trumps ours every time...even when we don't understand.


Sitesx6 said...

Drats...sorry you had a little set back! Glad you had a good perspective in the end.

Praying for Sweeney...since you told us about him, I've been getting his updates from Caringbridge. I'll be praying for this latest setback for him.

Hope you feel better today.
Kelly in Michigan

Hannah E. said...

Sorry about the sickness scare - glad everything is ok! What a frustrating day that must have been. It seems I'm having to learn that same lesson over and over again these days - surrendering my plans and remembering God can change them at any minute. For some reason, that's hard for me to get straight in my head. I keep pulling things back after I think I've put them into His hands. Thanks for the reminder to not hold on so tightly to what's on my schedule.

Shell said...

Sorry to hear about your setback. I hope you are feeling better soon. I sometimes have a hard time dealing when things don't go as I planned. I try to remind myself God is in control.

Kellie said...

Sorry to hear about that, but great news that it's nothing serious and you're not in the hospital again. I am a "planner" too, but I have learned to be a lot more flexible with 3 children 4 and under - Life throws a lot of unexpecteds and I have learned to trust God and take His quiet leads as to how He would have my day go rather than how I had planned.

Love Being a Nonny said...

I know the Lord smiles at our plans. He must smile at you and me...a LOT!!! Glad to hear you are going to be okay. So very sorry to hear about Sweeney's report. I prayed for him today.

elizabeth said...

I am not out of town and do not ever hesitate to call me if I can help in any way. My kids are on Spring Break this next week but we aren't going anywhere, so I am very serious...If you need something, I am here for you

Meaghan said...

i'm so sorry you felt so badly! i REALLY struggle with this with my kids - letting life be hard...

Amy said...

Thinking about you and praying the remainder of your weekend is peaceful. By the looks of the picture of your little darlings asleep together on the floor, the day was already redeemed.
Will continue to pray for Sweeney as well.
Amy @

Paulette said...

Glad you are ok.
Yes, I have been following the Sweeny's and a few other blogs in which 2 young mothers in their 30's just lost their battles with cancer leaving husbands and children behind and it has definately changed my perspective, Who am I to mope over lost plans, I am doing way to much anyway, instead I pray and encourage these families who have lost so very much, shame on me.

k and c's mom said...

I think the greatest "life lesson" I learned while raising my children was that our mother's hearts want to give the children STABILITY in all things, but what they really need is the ABILITY to navigate change. Because in this real world, "life comes at you fast" to quote my favorite little Gekko. Looks like your Plan B was highly successful! Rest, blog friend!