Sunday, January 04, 2009

Searching for Modesty

Last week as I entered the checkout line at the grocery store I heard my children start giggling nervously.
"Mom! Look at her chest..."
"...and her bottom..."

Needless to say, I snatched my head around in their direction. What on Earth? The children were all pointing at the cover of a magazine touting the 'best and worst bodies of 2008.' They were right. It was full of half-nakedness. I flipped the magazine over and quickly distracted the children.

As soon as I turned back to my grocery checkout routine I heard, "Oooh. Look! There are some more! Why is her bottom showing from her unda-wear, Mommy?"

Again, I decided distraction was the best course of action and we moved on. I didn't think much more about it. Frankly, I was just thankful they weren't reading the cover of Cosmo asking me to explain what those article titles mean.

I had almost forgotten about the whole incident until we returned to the grocery store today. As we walked up to checkout P said, "Oh! Mama! I can see her chest. Why isn't she wearing pants?"

Seriously? At the grocery store? I am planning to talk to the store manager about establishing a magazine-free checkout like I have seen other places, but it got me thinking about the increased challenges involved in keeping the little eyes and ears under my care as protected as possible.

Having just returned from New Orleans my heart is especially tender. As I walked down Bourbon Street, my heart was saddened by the choices I watched many young women making. All I could think was that is someone's daughter. How I wish she knew her worth!

I ordered three new Vicki Courtney books this week that I am anxious to start. I pray my daughter--and my sons--will grow up with full knowledge that they are precious and dearly loved by the Creator of the Universe.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's shocking, isn't it? My 7 year old sister accompanied me to the grocery store last weekend, and I panicked when I spotted Cosmo magazine because I knew she was capable of reading cover. Luckily, she didn't notice it, but it got me thinking about the same issue. Our local super market doesn't have 'family friendly' lanes either, although I wish it did.

The abundance of immodest children's clothing also frightens me.

Bailey's Leaf said...

It's funny that my K- will comment on dolls, such as Bratz, that they "have on way too much make-up, Mommy." She'll discuss about how sometimes she can see "her brea*sts, Mommy." And clothing for young girls? I've threatened to learn how to sew. At K-'s Christmas program, one of the girls that goes to the school aged portion of the academy was dressed in a dress far too small and far too revealing for her tender age. At preschool graduation last year? There was a young girl with heels, a tiny skirt and spaghetti straps. The academy that my daughter attends is at our church!

I have a 12 year old niece, taller and a bit shapelier than myself. I'm trying to teach her a bit of modesty.

If they can have candy free lanes, they can have magazine free lanes, too! Good suggestion for our stores!

Bethany said...

Walking down Bourbon Street is definitely eye-opening. I had a chance to do so in March and was really appalled. Stores really should have magazine-free aisles, too. It would really help parents/caregivers out!

Colored With Memories said...

i've never heard or thought of a magazine free check out...that's a wonderful idea.

i need to get some of Vicki's books too...hope to hear some of your thoughts on your picks in the days ahead!

HW said...

A few years ago I told my daughter "I must choose my battles and I CHOOSE THIS ONE - you will not win." when we were talking about modesty in clothing. Every now and then, in the summer, she puts up a fuss because we don't allow bikinis, but for the most part she has stopped asking for things that are inappropriate. I think she realizes it is a sign of our love for her to set strict limits. She did, however, recently bring home a top from the mall that she said would look great with leggings. I said, "Um...no, sweetheart, skinny jeans or regular jeans, but more than leggings." It was a little too short for just leggings.

As far as these girls being somebody's daughter, what I'm seeing in high school is that mothers are afraid to tell their daughters "NO." It is shocking to me that these girls walk out of their homes dressed the way they are and the only thing I can think of is that parents are afraid of making their kids mad.

Ask my children, that's not a problem we have around here.

And thank you for mentioning that we must work to keep our sons pure and modest also.

One more thing, a great alternative to the Bratz dolls, for us, were Groovy Girls. We really loved Groovy Girls and they were more wholesome.

Traci said...

I don't know if you have a Publix where you are, but here they put an opaque piece of acrylic over all but the title of the magazines if there is any objectionable material- they even covered Ladies Home Journal in October because the word "breast" was on the cover- you might suggest that as an easier alternative to your manager.

Immeasurably More Mama said...

How awful! The grocery store I shop at has a family friendly check-out line with alternative things to look at (kid magazines, healthy snacks as opposed to sugary candy, etc.). Maybe the manager at your store would consider doing something like this for customers who are parents.

Christi said...

Yep, I'm afraid it's everywhere! Fortunately my boys have been slow to notice this (or at least they haven't said anything) but I'm sure it's coming!

Immeasurably More Mama said...

Also, I couldn't help but think about this when you mentioned the women on Bourbon Street. Not only are they daughters of earthly parents but they are daughters of The King of Kings...Jesus. Oh, it is so sad that they are missing all that God intended for them. How great would it be if we all lived like the princesses God says we are!

Beth/Mom2TwoVikings said...

I never would have imagined how many "privacy and modesty" conversations I would already have had with my 4 year old. *sigh*

I need the phrase "different mommies, different rules" recorded and played ad naseum! LOL

And, I've had the same reaction to some of the teenage girls at our church. I'm *amazed* at what passes for "appropriate" dress-up clothing.

Mindy said...

I just started reading a great new book entitled "Raising Girls"....after that I'm off to find one about boys.

Modesty is such a battle. My girls already ask for bikini's in the summer and I don't allow them. I even have to fight this battle with family members who think I'm being prudish.

Jenny Lynn said...

Wow, protecting the innocence of a child can be such a difficult task. Especially when you can't even take a trip to the grocery store without something like this arising. I do not have kids yet but I know that I will be extremely aware of this when I have children. It is frustrating that our culture has become so infiltrated with trash that it becomes "normal".

A child can so quickly bring us back to the realization that trash is all around us and it is important that we feed our mind on Godly matters, not the worldy mess that it is so easy to get tangled in.

Unknown said...

whoa! i am so not ready for that! i think your triplets are the same age as my oldest, 4. i worry about what his eyes see too, and keeping his precious mind pure.

texasknights said...

FUnny you posted about this today. I had a precious conversation about self worth with my 9 year old gal just last night. FOr some reason, my heart has started to long for ways to minister and teach that sweet little heart of hers. Tell me more about the Vicki COurtney books. I so need to focus on these things this year.

Gloria said...

I first have to say that I have been reading your blog for the last 6 months and love your trueness, kindness, gentleness, honesty and your love for the Lord.

It is so unbelievable the amount of junk and half nakedeness that is put on those magazine covers and tv. what we can do as parents is lay the foundation for them, teach them the difference between right and wrong and that they should always have God in their life and pray for them each day.

Again, love your blog and hope to get to know you better and share mom stories together.

MamaBear said...

You've raised a concern that has been on my heart for several years. I am so appalled by the messages shouting at us from magazine covers that a few years ago I began doing whatever I had to do to go grocery shopping alone (they have apparently not heard of family-friendly checkout lines where I live). Sometimes it means that I go late at night or very early on a Saturday morning, but it is worth it to me to NOT have my daughters asking questions like "What IS The Big O, Mom?"

And clothing? Just get ready ... once little girls pass the 6x size, appropriate clothing becomes a challenge to find. I started sewing again for that very reason.

Love your blog!