My kids' energy levels have been through the roof for the last few weeks. I haven't specifically connected it to the holidays, because I think it has been building all Fall. I have been watching their diet--there's little sugar and no caffeine. It seems to just be their age! Whatever the source, it is potent and they are quite simply fired up from 6am until 7:30pm every day. (Although, as I typed that I realized I haven't gotten complaints from school, so maybe they are only wild during the home hours because their *best* behavior is reserved for school.)
It has presented a parenting challenge because I find myself constantly second guessing what 'normal' looks like. I want them to be well-behaved. I expect them to listen and obey. Yet, I realize they are playful, enthusiastic and active 4 1/2 year olds. I work hard to provide space for them to be outside and free and silly. I strive to have expectations that are appropriate, but I am not sure what that looks like. Who defines appropriate anyway?
This afternoon was particularly frustrating as they ran wild indoors after school--getting a little more physical with each other than usual and generally being feisty. Thankfully, we had a gymnastics class scheduled--a place, I reasoned, where they could bounce and jump and run for an hour safely.
They were so wound up during class that I had to pull one out for time out and issue stern warnings to another about listening. They were not being ugly in an outright way...just hyper, silly and wild.
As we were driving home I was mulling how to know when a behavior is 'part of being 4 years old' versus when it needs to be nipped in the bud. It seems, like so many other things in parenting there is a fine line in crushing the spirits of our children and reining them in to appropriate levels of energy.
That darn fine line! It really seems to be where all my parenting challenges lie. For such a 'fine' line it sure does trip me up a lot!
7 comments:
I have no insight or solutions, but just wanted to say I totally relate!! My eight year old is in a constant state of hyperactivity... has always been. The very things I love about her personality - fun, adventurous, generous, excited, happy, outgoing, full of energy, etc - are also the biggest challenges sometimes, when I feel I need to 'rein her in' and help her be more considerate of others, appropriate for places/situations, etc (or just for my own sanity) But as you say, I don't want to crush her spirit! It really is hard to know.
Hi,I can relate as well.:)
I have a just-turned 8 year old, a
4 1/2 year old and a 2 1/2 yr old. As trite as it sounds,I believe the answer is prayer. Through time with the Lord, and listening to women wiser than myself, I have been realizing that prayer cannot be underestimated. I often pray for my children at the beginning of the day, as many Moms do, through out the day (the "popcorn prayers") and often at night, while they sleep.I ask the Lord to give me wisdom and discernment in my parenting , (James 1:5).I hope that is helpful.I know it has been a blessing to me.
That has been one of my biggest parenting struggles as well. Right now it seems to be the fine line of 'normal' boy behavior - I certainly have no idea what that means as I'm obviously not a boy.
It's definitely a learning experience, isn't it? Day by day...
Of course I have no room to talk because my only child is only 1 1/2, but I really enjoyed your post and struggle with similar things just on a 1 1/2 year old level.
Remember that they are only 4 four a short time. When they are our age, they'll wish that they were still fun and enthusiastic at times when they look at their 4 year olds. You are probably right that they are simply letting out energy that got saved up while they were in school. It makes for long evenings, but as long as everyone is being nice to each other and no one is doing something really dangerous, it is good for kids to have fun! And they'll remember how much fun they had with you when you join in and roll around on the floor with them!
I can also completely relate to a child at that age.. .mine however just turned 5 but still is running high on the scope of energy. I've heard the peak is age 3, and slowly from there slows down but I have yet to see that in a big way. Patience and help for peaceful times (a bath, a book, a date with our husbands) for us moms to reconnect to our kids through faithfullness, persistence, grace and love.
When you figure it out, please let me know. Mine are 4 1/2 and 5 1/2. My 5 1/2 has always been the calmer one, but my 4 1/2 year old is hyper, always getting into things, testing the limits with me to see just how far he can go, but always gets to the point of discipline beyond what I like, but must be done.
Ugh! I can totally relate these days!!! I have two boys - one is days away from being 5 and a 2 1/2 year old. Boys will be boys, but how do you know when they're just being boys?!?! I feel like I'm always reining them in, always watching out for a broken lamp or bump on the head. It is a super fine line and many days I can't seem to the thing.
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