It appears that my little R has the flu. Thankfully, the vomit was short-lived and the hallucinations were just a one night deal...but his high temperatures, loss of appetite and general exhaustion have dominated the last two days. He perked up just in time for our appointment with the pediatrician this morning, but nose-dived again a few hours later. My little man has been a champ--but he is whipped.
Ironically, he is ill in spite of the fact that we braved the flu clinic just 10 days ago. So far, the rest of our family has managed to avoid any symptoms. I pray it will continue to be so.
Anyway, tonight as I was putting away my 5th load of laundry in the last 24 hours I was thinking about the illusion of protection we can fall into as parents--the belief that if we do all the 'right things' we can protect our children from the ills of the world. I was pondering the irony that my 3 children who share similar DNA, life experience and exposure can have very different responses to harmful things. Their flu vaccine was administered from the same batch and yet it seems to have worked for 2, while leaving the 3rd vulnerable.
Frankly, as I think about all of the threats to their well-being my children will face as they grow-up (and how wildly their responses may vary), this analogy frightens me greatly. Born on the same day, raised the same way and at the same point in history, yet I am quite certain K, P & R's vulnerabilities will be quite different. They already are.
No one wants to watch someone they love stumble, fall or get hurt. We are hard-wired with a primal instinct to protect our young. So we do our best to 'vaccinate' them--whether it is through organic diets, withholding vaccinations for fear of autism, leaving them in 5 point harnesses until they weigh 60 lbs, not allowing them on trampolines, prohibiting them from associating with 'those' people, not allowing them to spend the night away from home, banning television...we all have our lists. We do our best to eliminate as much risk as possible from their lives.
And yet, sometimes, it is not enough. They get hurt, sick, teased, corrupted, burned or jaded anyway. And sometimes by going to great lengths to eliminate the risk from their lives we are doing more long-term harm than good--actually leaving them more vulnerable to future challenges.
Last night we had a poignant moment with Joni and her husband, discussing this very thing--acknowledging that the places of greatest struggle in our lives are the defining moments of our stories. Recognizing that God has worked that way throughout the course of history. Knowing with a deep twinge in our hearts that it will be so with our children's lives as well. We know in the end it works out, but we cringe at the thought of the painful legs of the journey which are necessary to get us to the final destination God has in mind.
So, what do we do with that? Do we just give up on 'protecting' our children? I am not suggesting that. I think it is more of a reminder of the need to trust God as their ultimate source of protection. This will not mean our being spared any pain, hardship or heartbreak. His protection may not always look like we think it is going to, but He is the great I AM. HE IS worthy of our trust.
5 comments:
Poor R. I am so sorry he is sick. I think, though, that the vaccine takes like 2 weeks to become effective. I am not positive, though. I hope the rest of you stay well.
Oh, goodness. We are living this same realization as you are, but with our 15 year old son. It is a frightening realization that you can teach them everything you can, share with them your own failings and stumblings in the hopes that they don't repeat them, and raise them to live a certain way...but you can't force them to do so.
Even locking them up (an option that my ex-husband advocates) doesn't keep them from making a decision you disagree with. It only postpones the decision until they are away from you. In the end, all we can do is teach what we can, pray, and trust in God for the results. And, honestly, that trust gives me comfort. :)
Michelle- I actualy heard the same thing yesterday--14 days...maybe that means my other 2 are safe starting today...
Amen to He IS worthy of our trust!! Praying for R a speedy recovery and continued health for everyone else.
Just an FYI, some people are "allergic" (for lack of a better word) to the flu vaccine. My husband is one of those - every time he received the flu shot (a requirement when he was in the Army), he would get the flu! A doctor finally confirmed for us that there is a small percentage of people who do actually get the flu from taking the flu shot! Keep an eye on your little R and if this happens a second time, talk to your doctor. I would especially keep an eye on this if your child has had other serious health related problems in the past. Hoping your life is a little easier this morning and praying for more restful hours for the whole family!
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