Lessons In Memory-Making

P has been asking for the last several days if he & his siblings could have a 'camp out.' This afternoon we decided that we would pitch our tents in the playroom and have a 'camp in.' Since part of the experience P was craving was 'marshmallows and hot dogs in da fire' we made do with the fire pit on our back patio.

As I snapped the pictures, then reviewed them tonight, I couldn't help but chuckle that they don't even begin to accurately portray the situation. Daddy returned this afternoon from 4 days in Lousianna with 30 pounds of fresh fish that had to be sealed and frozen quickly, clothes that needed to be washed and a family that was anxious for quality time. We pulled in to find that our lab's electric collar was malfunctioning and she had been on the loose--including a dip in the country club pool TWICE. (What is UP with our prodigal animals?)

Since it was already 6 (our typical dinner time) I decided to get the tents set up with the children while Daddy hastily worked on the fish. This proved to be a bit of a frustrating disaster. (Have you ever tried to pitch tents with very excited, hungry and tired small children as your helpers?)I broke a key fiberglass pole. One of the tents could not be found. Two children, in incidences seperated by mere minutes, urinated all over the bathroom floor because they waited too long to run to the potty. Ahh, quality family time!

When we finally got them outside to cook the hotdogs, the children insisted on doing it themselves. This resulted in dropped and charred dogs. The s'mores were a messy addition the church clothes everyone was still wearing since we had left there directly to retrieve Daddy from the airport. Did I mention it was 90 degrees and muggy?

I was annoyed that the fun, family memory I had envisioned was not going very smoothly. Yet, the photos would lead you to believe it had all been textbook and effortless. And you know what? It was a happy moment and a fun memory despite the fact that very little happened smoothly.

I was reminded of how often we are tempted to create 'ideal' memories for our children at the expense of teaching them how to deal with the reality of life. Real life has bumps, involves work and is rarely smooth and 'as planned.' I do not mean to imply I believe in burdening children with more 'truth' than they are equipped with the maturity to handle. I do, however, believe we do our children a disservice to make life too easy and idealized. We all know people who have been painfully disappointed with the reality of adulthood because of the fantasy life they grew up in.

I don't want to be so super serious and intense that I spoil childhood for my children. But I don't want to spoil them either. How do we balance idealism with realism when as parents we long to protect them from evil and give them every good thing?

Hmmm. I am opening a can of worms that I do not have all the answers for...but this is what I am pondering tonight.

Daddy repaired the broken fiberglass pole. The filthy clothes are soaking in the washer. The fish have been put away. My children are healthy, safe and loved by two parents who are deeply committed to one another. And our little people are still giggling with delight over their adventure.

These are truly trivial, momentary complications. Life (from an eternal perspective) is SO MUCH MORE than this. Why do we (I!) allow ourselves to get in such tizzies?