Sunday, May 11, 2008

Lessons from Mom(s)

I have been blessed to have several influential women in my life through the years.

My Mom (BeeBee to my children) instilled in me the importance of reserving judgement of other people. Throughout my childhood and adolescence she never missed an opportunity to remind me to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. To this day, especially when I am in a hurtful situation, I cling to her words of wisdom in that regard. It is amazing what a difference this tidbit makes in conflict resolution.

My Grandmother (Grandmama Dobbs) taught me about grace like I had never seen before in the way she handled the painful betrayal of my Grandaddy. (The posts about that story are here and here.) She is also incredibly special to me because she was the driving force/encouragement for my adolescent church attendance. Her nudges resulted in my hearing the Gospel and ultimately accepting Christ in the 7th grade.

My mother-in-law, Carol, has taught me a great deal about loyalty and faithfulness. During my 8 1/2 weeks of hospital bedrest, she was at the hospital all but 4 or 5 days (when she was quarantined because of strep exposure). Because I was hospitalized in Atlanta, 90 minutes from my Mom and Dad and from my husband, her daily visits were a lifeline for me. Her service included washing my undergarments and blankets daily, praying with me and for me, bringing me fresh fruit, calamari salads and larger clothes to keep up with my increasing size, accompanying me to ultrasounds and some days just holding my hand while I cried. She did whatever I needed and more. She ministered to my body and spirit primarily by just faithfully showing up.

There have been other women like DeeDee, Anne, Sandy and Jean who invested in my life as youth leaders and/or 'plugged in' mothers of my friends. These women were always available to me during the critical periods of teenage angst, gently modelling and teaching what Christian womanhood looks like. They probably have no idea how much I learned simply from watching them. I pray I'll remember that as my children get older and we have other children in and out of our home. God has been showing me lately a lot about the power of relationships. At the end of the day, it is the support system we call community that seems to most powerfully mold and shape us.

I am immensely thankful for my Mom who worked hard to make sure my sister and I had the opportunity to get a good education and have well-rounded life experiences. I appreciate that she and my Dad have modeled 36 years of marriage 'though thick and thin.' She's the best secret keeper I have ever met and a loving, devoted grandmother to my children. So, here's to my Mom and the community of Moms (including many of you) who have and continue to mold and shape my heart and life.

Blessings to you!

5 comments:

Michelle said...

Happy Mother's Day, JMom.

HW said...

What a great post.

I do not have a healthy realtionship with my mother, but am so thankful for the women in my life who have modeled kindness, faithfulnees, unconditional love, and tolerance.

I loved what you said about having other children in your home. We are in the phase of life where our home is constantly full of other kids. My how I love these "other" kids. I find myself worrying when they are sick, wanting to offer advice when they are sad, and looking forward to their laughter. I strive to make them remember our household with fondness.

I am curious how your mom got the name "BeeBee." We have too women in our family nicknamed "
Ree-Ree," each for completely different reasons. I won't use your blog to tell the story, but I wondered if you'd share that someday.

Oh, and Happy Mother's Day!

Cheri (aka "The Mom Lady") said...

My children are all grown now and someone once asked me how I "coped" having three children and living overseas much of the time. I was a bit surprised by the question, but in retrospect, one of the ways I coped was by finding a family whom I admired, a family where the Dad obviously loved Mom, the children respected themselves and their parents and I would become friends with them. Their example and their advice became invaluable. They were almost always brethren from church making the core foundation of faith the driver for their life - another lesson in itself. But as older women, we are commanded to teach the younger women in many things - how to love their husband, raise their children, run their household, etc. (Titus). Sounds like you've been blessed with such examples. It is an awesome responsibility.

I believe we had one divorce in my family growing up - one of my mother's cousins. I was blessed to be part of a Christian family that believed "one person for life" when it came to marriage and not a one of them ever acted like it was a burden but a joy and blessed companionship. What a legacy and example. Your grandmother sounds like the loveliest of women. Thank you for sharing.

And Happy Mother's Day to you as well! Every day my children love their spouses and their children, every day they honor God, every day they strive to make their family stronger - thst's Mothers Day for me and I feel honored.

Kris said...

Happy Mother's Day. Thank you for helping me and inspiring me to be a better mom. I really admire you and appreciate you for sharing your experiences with all of the many aspects of motherhood! Have a great day.

Jill said...

Happy Mother's Day!