Wednesday, March 26, 2008

My Double Life

Increasingly, I feel as if I am living a double life. In my primary life, I am a happily married, upper middle class, suburban mother of three--a member of the Minivan Majority. Then my cell phone rings and I am thrust into stories that would break your heart and shock even Jerry Springer.

As I have become more involved in the work of our local children's shelter, I have found myself in situations I could not have imagined from jail visitation to learning lingo from bail bondsmen and even bounty hunters. I have trolled the streets looking for a suspected runaway with my children singing songs in the backseat. I have visited with a 14 year old recovering from her C-section whose own stepfather sired the newborn.

The oddest juxtaposition is that I may find myself sharing ice cream with my children while getting an update on an abused child or leaving an elaborate Easter brunch and going straight to the children's home where 39 abused and neglected children are wondering if anyone from their extended family will show up to visit them.

And while I go to great lengths to shelter my children from subjects and words that are not age-appropriate, they know that the 'slinkies' on top of the fence at the jail are to keep inmates from getting away. They ask me periodically about a young resident they know by name and if she is "going to tell da twoof so she can get out of jail."

Occasionally I ask myself if it is all too much too soon. So far, I don't think it is. I think it important that they know this world is made up of all kinds of folks, dealing with all kinds of pain. It is not enough for us to simply pray for them. We must pray, but we also must listen. For God seems to have different plans for different situations. Sometimes in addition to our prayer, He also wants to allow us to be used as His hands and feet.

To simply wring our hands about how unfortunate and tragic a situation is, without asking if God would have us offer love and mercy would be akin to the priest and Levite walking past the injured man. Pretending pain doesn't exist, does not make it so. Turning a blind eye to the needs of others deprives us of a chance to experience being used.

Offering love and mercy to needy people is often messy and sometimes painful. It certainly rarely seems to be convenient. But in the end, we are commanded to do it.

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"
He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."
But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."
Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."

Matthew 31:25-27

So we press on vacillating between the insulated, sheltered world where we receive our mail and the wide-open, 'real world' where the need for Christ is very present and we receive our blessings.

And I press publish on this weighty post and take my children to see Horton Hears A Who.

It is a schizophrenic life indeed!


15 comments:

Amy said...

WOW! What a very true post! God bless!

Tara said...

You are so correct. We are called to do more than pray, but to also act. I think your kids will benefit so much from your actions!

HW said...

I do not think you are exposing your children to these things too early. It is never too early to teach our children that we must love those that society has deemed "unlovable." It is never too early to teach compassion, and it sure seems to me you are doing a great job doing this with balance. Unfortunately I have people in my own famiy that seem to be teaching their children the opposite, and it breaks my heart.

Lauren said...

The best part of your double life is your willingness to live it for all to see. Your children are learning firsthand what it means to love "the least of these" - that is one of the greatest gifts you could give them, at any age.

Pam said...

Thank you for the mercy you showed me as well today. Your promise to pray touched my heart. You were a divine appointment this day . . . you'll never know . . .

Email if you forget the specifics we shared.

You blessed me in the "real world" today, and I am grateful.

Mom of Eleven said...

Oh girl, I could tell you some stories, too. Yes, this world is a broken and fallen place with a lot of hurting people. You are doing the right thing by helping other children. I so agree they are innocent victims of their circumstances ( not always totally innocent of their own choices) BUT your children are watching VERY closely to your every move. It is impacting them for eternal value. Don't ever let the world tell you, it's not right, don't expose them to that, or you shouldn't help people like that. Don't let it be a double life.
We live it every day here in our home and have made these children our own and our biological kids are here helping us minister to them, even little J. Your kids are part of it and part of what you do. I am so proud of you and glory be to God that He is using you to be His hands and feet in all of those lives.
Go girl!

peapodsquadmom said...

Your children are seeing love in action. How can that be bad? Good mommy!

Lisa said...

I am a daily lurker but only a second time commenter. Your post is so true. I work in the "Real World" and get so overwhelmed by it. I also try to shield my children from it but sometimes you can't help but bring it home with you! For my children it is usually just another name that we add to our daily prayer list.

What really amazes me is what adults will do to each other and never even think that at the bottom of all the hate and fighting is an innocent little child that is hurting! I am praying that God will show me a better way that I can help in my area. I do know though that when you really are able to help someone, it makes you feel so good!

You and your family will be blessed for what you are doing for the least of your brothers!
Blessing to you and your beautiful children.

Dena said...

You rock! When you do the work you do, you are opening your heart to a lot of hurt. That is no easy thing when you are also raising 3 little ones, but it is just what we are called to do.
I think we should do ministry WITH our children as they are old enough. You are setting the stage for that right now. Good for you. Good for God! You are inspiring...really you are.

Paulette said...

Wow what an amazing post. I do not cry very often but reading this post is what I love most about you. You are an amazing woman J, and what you do for the kids in that home is awesome and amazing. You are also teaching 3 other children that same compassion. If I lived near you I would be right there behind you helping and serving. Thankyou for doing what you do.
Blessings

Confessions said...

your posts over the past few days have spoken more to the core of my being than i can explain. thank you for truly being the hands and feet of our savior...how many times have i heard the story of the good samaritan? and how many times has in gone in one ear and out the other...until today. thank you for always pointing me in the direction of Christ.

georgiamom said...

My heart breaks to hear those stories, and I am so glad you are involved with these girls. If you can't tell, I'm into Oswald Chambers right now. Your post reminded me of this quote referring to sacrifice in service, "If we will only give up, God will surrender Himself to embrace all those around us and will meet their needs, which were created by our surrender." What you are doing is awesome. Thank you for sharing it. M

D said...

We live this life also. Except we take these children (newborn-3 yrs) into our home. Our girls are older and understand not everyone chooses to live their lives the way we do. I feel they have learned a great deal about your actions & choices impacting your future or present for that matter. It is indeed a two fold life. I wonder every day if what I am doing is the right thing. For our family or the children.

Christy said...

thanks for sharing this experience-I often feel that I am the only one struggling with this issue (I am a therapist and work w/ kids invovled in the child welfare system). I daily struggle with explaining why kids have to come to my office to "feel better" and because I work some from home-doing phone calls and paperwork-I know they sometimes hear things that I wish I didn't have to hear!

Thanks for being so honest about the struggle.

Anita said...

Beautiful post! As a new foster mom it was very timely for me. Your words, "Offering love and mercy to needy people is often messy and sometimes painful. It certainly rarely seems to be convenient. But in the end, we are commanded to do it."

Thank you for sharing your life, your family.

Nice to meet you!
Anita