Yesterday was another fantastic day. I remembered to bring the camera along on our adventures, but don't think I'll be able to upload until we get home.
In the meantime, I wanted to toss out another discussion since everyone's responses were so well-thought last time (and I've had more time to contemplate this week). Saturday at Emily's baby shower, another mother and I were discussing The Gift of Fear, by Gavin De Becker and its companion book, Protecting the Gift:Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe. I have not read either one yet, but just ordered them this morning. I have, however, heard rave reviews. Perhaps it is the media coverage of seemingly rampant and senseless violence that has me on edge, but I have become increasingly paranoid and cautious about the safety of my children.
I saw a clip of the author, De Becker, on Oprah and he made a statement that has really stuck with me (I am paraphrasing from memory): All animals have an innate sense of danger, but human beings are the only ones who try to talk themselves out of their fear, rather than respond appropriately. Rather than flee situations we perceive as dangerous, we worry more about being polite than protecting ourselves.
Anyway, as I have pondered fear, the inevitable question has been, how does this fit in with what the Bible has to say about fear versus love? I would not describe myself as a 'fearful' person. I absolutely believe in the Sovereignty of God (even when I don't understand it). I know that He is with me, even in the darkest hours. But, I do not think that is an invitation to take foolish risks with my life (or especially those of my children).
I feel justified in this in daily life, but cannot help but wonder every now in then, if this fear holds me back from loving some 'unlovely' people God puts in my path. Especially when my children are with me and watching.
A couple of weeks ago, I was at the car wash on a rainy day in order to vacuum my interior. Because of the rain, the car wash was closed and desolate. The children were in the car with me when a young, strange, rough-looking woman approached asking for money and help. I realized I was incredibly vulnerable and was frightened. She told me a story (that I did not really believe)about trying to get money to return to another city for her children and my three looked on with wide eyed curiosity. As I quickly gave her $2 through locked doors and a window only barely opened, I knew I would be peppered with questions about why I handled the situation as I did.
I didn't shower her with love, I got her away from us as quickly as I could.
"Is she a 'don't know', Mommy?"
"Why can't she be with her children?"
"We should have given her a ride in our car."
"Why did you keep the window up, Mommy."
I am still not sure what Jesus would have done.
8 comments:
Hmm...some friends of mine and I have been talking about this very thing recently. I'm still wrestling through what I believe is truth about it. The only thing I'm starting to think confidently is that there really might be different answers God gives to us in different situations like that. Meaning...we have to be walking in the Spirit to receive HIS discernment for specific circumstances. One day, He might ask us to be more open in our love. Other times, He might ask us to keep the windows rolled up just a bit. And He has His perfect reasons for all of those!
I just don't think my response is always supposed to be the same every time or that I have to have thought out beforehand how I will handle those situations. Usually, when I do that, I'm not as sensitive to how God is leading me in that moment. Through these conversations I've been having lately with friends, I realize the importance of staying connected to the Lord's heart on such a regular basis that I can trust that He'll show me how to respond (in that moment)every time I'm faced with such a situation. I need that reminder more and more! Sadly, it's not something I'm "used" to thinking about regularly.
I'm so glad you brought this up...I think God definitely has more for me to learn about this! He keeps bringing it up to me...I'm sure for a reason! I'm excited to hear what others share. It's certainly an issue I don't have answers to yet.
I've commented before, but I don't do it regularly. I love reading your blog! It's always encouraging. Enjoy your trip.
I don't know what He would have done either. I work in downtown Nashville so I am faced with this often. Sometimes I give quickly out of fear and sometimes I don't give at all. It is a really hard decision to make especially spur of the moment. You have encouraged me to search my heart and pray about it so that when I'm faced with this situation again (it could be as soon as lunch time) that I might be able to think more clearly!
I haven't had to deal with this type of situation much (yet), but I've thought about it a lot, because thinking about a situation in advance helps me respond with God's grace when it actually happens.
Hannah's response resonates with me. I don't think there's one answer here to meet every situation. We need to be discerning and in touch with the Holy Spirit. However, I want to show my children God's love and mercy. I want them to know He cares about everyone -- even dirty, disheveled homeless men begging for money at the freeway exit. I know I need to balance that with my children's safety, which is a heavy thing. If they were at an appropriate age, I would probably just explain that to them, "God loves that person, but I didn't feel safe. And my job right now is to keep you safe from harm. So I have to be careful. But should we pray for that person? Because I know God loves them and would want to help them, whatever their circumstance."
This is something I struggle with as well. I am looking forward to reading what others have to say.
Enjoy your day!
Oh the similarities in our thinking with this issue. It is so tough. I find myself wanting to do more, and more often, but failing to do so out of fear. When I am with my husband we usually will do more, and I find less fear (obviously) in these situations. When I am alone or alone with my kids, I do get so fearful. I don't know the right answers either, but also agree with Hannah that I don't think there is just ONE right answer (except I always do pray...that is always right I guess) but as far as actually doing something, I do think it is wise to be in The Spirit, and follow his guidance and leading...and when he says "this might not be the best situation..." you just have to trust that God has His hand in this. Love looks different...sometimes it can just be a smile. I think we are to love and pray...and then act.
I might have to look into those books! They sound good, even just from the titles...and for the most part, I have really enjoyed your recommendations in the past! :) I love love love the Jesus Storybook Bible!
It's a tough call isn't it? We just covered this topic at my MOPs group. No one else had easy answers either.
I just had written a longer comment, but it was very similar to Courtney's, so ditto to what she said.
I really liked the eloquence and wisdom in Hannah's response, too. I think it helps to remember that in Biblical times, women were not even to be out without a male companion or within a large group of other women, and even then, they usually had one of the servent men to accompany them. That was for their safety; not to diminish them.
that email you sent to me today really sheds light on not fearing, yet trusting in the Lord. i loved that video. i have actually sent it to a few other friends and talked about it to 3 others after only getting a chance to watch it a few hours ago.
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