When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
James 3:3-9 (NIV)
I have been reminded lately as I correct the tone my children take with one another--and with me--when they are angry, that I could stand some improvement in the way I speak to them.
Consider this morning when an exasperated P said to me, "UGGGHH! How many times do I have to tell you?"
His words were a stinging indictment. He was repeating back something I have said to him. Ouch.
It is time to move "the tone of my voice" to a higher priority on my prayer list. We are told in Scripture, "He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity." Proverbs 21:23 (NIV)
I love my husband and children and am constantly looking for creative ways to build a healthy sense of self, but today I am reminded that I need to be careful to not overlook the simple, powerful things that are right before me. My words can leave lasting marks on the hearts in my home. Oh how I want them to be words of affirmation, love and security, rather than piercing or deflating.We possess more power in this arena than we realize!
"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:2-4 (NIV)
Edited to add: I love reading Holy Experience, but did not see Ann's post from yesterday until this morning (Thanks, Chris!) She refers to our tongues as the wagging tails of our heart--wow! If you need more encouragement in the area of your tongue, go there now!
10 comments:
There is nothing like your child to provide an accurate reflection of yourself. Unfortunately, it's often a painful picture.
De-lurking for the first time to tell you how much I appreciate your honesty. So many mom-bloggers, and frankly, so many moms out there are unwilling to talk honestly about the parts of motherhood they struggle with. Your honesty probably helps more moms feel "normal" than you realize.
Thank you.
This is also my first time commenting, and I too appreciate your honesty with this issue. I definitely think that this is something that most of us struggle with, and often don't realize it. It's good to be reminded of things we need to work on to better our relationships...no matter how big or how small they may be.
Ouch! The trust hurts. Thank you for being so honest. I needed to hear this.
Thanks for the honesty. My 5 year old constantly parrots word I say...and how I say it. It's scary! I hope it's not too late to "undo" some of what I've "taught" her
I struggle with this as well. I pray about it daily and have posted the fruits of the spirit in various places around my house to remind myself that "against those things there is no law". It helps me remember what I need to teach him. It does sting when they mirror that tone back :(
So true! Since I rarely "yell" or raise my voice, I thought I was in a pretty safe camp of "tame." WRONG! I've been evaulating/intentially praying about this for about a week now--sparked by my husband's comment of "you might as well have screamed at your loudest pitch---your LOOKS (my eyes get me in trouble everytime) and your TONE are crushing." Ouch, but so honestly true.
Thanks for the verses to remind me of my calling!
God is definitely speaking to me about my tongue..I just read the devotion over on CWO's blogsite and it is on the same subject...I get the point...Lord...He is using you and the life with your family to help His kingdom....This was convicting to me and I no longer have small children...Keep up the good work with your sweet family.
I read this last week after a very, very, very long day but did not have time to comment. I think I need to start putting some of these verses around the house to remind ME!
Hi! This is my first time here but I just had to comment since I struggle with tone too. Nothing like the words of my preschooler coming back at me to keep me humble! :)
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