Sunday, November 25, 2007

Pondering

What a long, 'long weekend' it has been. I have a new appreciation for people who deal with chronic ear infections in their children. Until this weekend, I had never witnessed the agonizing pain they cause in little people. K, who is normally my trooper, was the first to succumb. Bless her sweet heart, she was completely miserable and inconsolable until we got some lidocaine-like drops for her ears. She is bouncing back nicely.

Last night, just as I settled into a peaceful slumber, P's screams started. Of the three, he is definitely the least tolerant of discomfort. Oh. My. Word. He literally screamed such shrill screams that the glass break sensors on our security alarm went off. Three times.

Tonight everyone is tucked in, well medicated and sleeping soundly. I am hopeful we are on the rebound. I am typing from my bed (in my pajamas) at 8:00pm because as soon as I hit publish I am going to go to sleep...just in case it is another long night.

What I am pondering as I drift off to sleep is a chat I had this afternoon with my friend Mandy. She, too, is a thinker, a Christ follower, a Mom and a doer. Tonight we were discussing how our over-analysis of every parenting decision can rob our joy if we aren't careful.

We agreed the balance is very hard to strike. We believe in God's Sovereignty and grace. We know He is ultimately in charge of how our children develop and who they become...yet we also take seriously our role in teaching, training and praying for them along the way.

Motherhood is an act of worship in many regards. I long to do my job (mothering) as if unto the Lord. I want to try hard and do well.

Where is the line in trying/doing and letting God do? How do you know when to lighten up, hold the reigns a little more loosely and enjoy the ride versus holding tightly and treating everything with great seriousness?

I don't have the answers. I am praying and pondering. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

10 comments:

HW said...

I feel for you little ones. I don't remember ear infections as a child; but I get them frequently now. An earache is VERY painful.
Hope tomorrow brings relief for all of you.

Courtney said...

I hope you and your 3 have an easier night. I don't think I give mine enough sympathy for their chronic ear infections...I hear they are super painful. My little Jackson is just getting off antib's for a double ear infection...he was screaming much like it sounds K and P were. Hope R is okay and the other two are better soon.
Get some rest!

Sun said...

Oh I can SO feel your weariness of being up all night with a child that has an ear infection. My first one cried eight hours a day sometimes when she was really little - she had two sets of tubes and COUNTLESS ear infections. She was SO misreable and I felt SO helpless and tired!

I am with you on the struggle of letting go versus trying - where is that balance? It is hard when you love God and you love your little ones SO much that you want to do/say/choose the right thing. I struggle SO much in this area so I look forward to coming back and reading what others say - one thing that a good friend of mine who has raised her children and is now beginning the phase of grandparenting - one piece of advice she gave me regarding my little ones and my husband is to "Pray it - don't say it". At the time I thought - oh that is easy and simple - but that is HARD for me to do.
Well I will be lifting you all up in prayer and SO hope you get a good night's sleep and that your little ones feel better soon! Sunshine

Christi said...

I also share this same struggle. I know that I over analyze everything (not just with regards to my children). I wish I had some of the answers, but I don't. Like you - praying and pondering.

Renee said...

Our experience with ear infections has been very strange. So much so that it just makes the boys real mellow and not wanting to do anything. All of them have had them (many double ones) and never knew it until I took them in to the doc for something else only to come out with ear infections. I do hope you all get well soon!

As far as finding the right balance with our kids, I don't have any clue. I do know (as I know you do too) that God works through us and our efforts in training our children. I have seen with my oldest, who is almost 6, if a good foundation is built (and I'm not saying we've done any great job here, but we've tried) then it gets easier to be a little more loose as they get older.

keri said...

j..hope your little ones feel better and hope last night was much quieter! i definitely struggle with the same things...i think i worry too much about doing everything the right way that i lose so much joy in mothering. i think if i let go of that some and really know that its ok to make mistakes...God will use those moments of my failure to pour His grace into my mothering and help me see even more that its not about me...its about Him. and hopefully through that, the joy will come! not sure if that made sense...i'm thinking as i type! :)

Mayhem And Miracles said...

I've been pondering this very question for years, and I'm still waiting for the answer! Seems to be forefront on my mind most every day. :) My mom always "assures" me, "Oh it just all works out; look how you and your brother turned out" and I think "yeah - NEUROTIC." Hee hee.

Jacob and Andi said...

When you get it figured out, let me know. It's stumped me since day one.

Being a mom takes tough stuff. I never thought it would be so hard.

joan said...

Hope your litle ones are better. My children are all grown now and I'm trying to think back to when they were little and how and if I balanced. I became a Christian after I had my kids so I was learning things as I went along myself. Take care!

Chris/ty said...

I have read your blog for quite some time now. As a fellow Christian, new mommy, and young-lifer :), I really love reading and relating to your struggles and joys. Just wanted to thank you! I love the stories about your kids too - makes me excited for the days ahead.