Friday, October 26, 2007

In the Thick of It

One of the interesting by-products of blogging is that it serves as a nice barometer for me of the seasons of my journey through this crazy thing called life. A couple of weeks ago, I ran into a blogging friend in-the-flesh and she commented about how deep my recent posts had been. As I laughingly told her I sometimes wished I could shake the deep just to give my brain a little break, she responded that it was an encouragement to know that even in the chaos of 3 year olds God could really be working.

Well, two weeks have passed and I cannot muster a deep thought to save my life. I have been pondering this for a couple of days and realized that the chaos of dropping naps, seasons changing and the upcoming time change have sapped me mentally and distracted me spiritually.

I have to confess there is so much "here and now" that thoughts of the deep, lasting and eternal are few and far between. The last couple of mornings, I have managed to wake up a few minutes before the trio. I have found myself staring at my ceiling in the dark asking God for strength for the day and patience. Over and over and over.

I am finding it difficult to concentrate on character and building a spiritual foundation in my children because I am too busy keeping little hands out of trouble, laundry under control, and pull-ups changed on my son who is still not #2 trained. I know this is a condition common to Moms in the trenches.

In the same way my husband & I know we must seize stolen moments to reconnect and strengthen our relationship, I pray my Lord & I may have stolen moments throughout the day. It is afterall a relationship. Time together is essential and must be a priority. When we are together lately, I just want to sit there. No talking, just resting.

I am also reminded that everything cannot always be deep and Earth-shattering. Sometimes life, love and relationships (even our relationship with God) is just work.

I am so thankful for God's amazing love for me...and His grace...and His unconditional commitment to love me just the same, even when I am overwhelmed and exhausted in the trenches. Especially when I am overwhelmed and exhausted in the trenches.

Lord, lift my head from the day-to-day stuff so I can see your face. Restore my perspective. I love you. I really, really do. Even more amazingly, You love me. How can I ever thank you?


Peach said...

Precious Jmom, He hears those prayers from the "trenches" and answers them just as He does those from the deep wells of our overflowing spiritual souls.

The following verse always encourages me when I think about how God looks at those of us who have young children:

Isaiah 40:11(NLT)
"He will feed his flock like a shepherd.
He will carry the lambs in his arms,
holding them close to his heart.
He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young."

How I need Him to gently lead me on those days when all I can do is pray for strength and patience to make it through another day.

Praying for you, dear one, as I head off to bed tonight. Need some sleep before that festival tomorrow. I'll be there with my girls and will keep an eye out for you : )

Fran said...

I love your honesty here. We can all completely know where you are and how you feel. I have had those most difficult seasons with my children in just trying to keep my head above water. Your children are your ministry and I would pray one hour at a time.

"Lord renew my strength and focus. Fill me with you so I can extend whatever is needed to my children."

He'll keep you afloat...He just does. And thank you Jesus for doing just that. He knows where we are and He'll meet us there.

Have a good weekend. I would come babysit for you in a heartbeat. I have 3 boys, 11,9,7 and I can manhandle anyone! :) With love of course.

Blessings to you~

Katy said...

oh, how i love to read your posts...deep or not. You are real...and i look forward to reading what you have written each day! I thank you for sharing your struggles, and happiness in your journey of life!

joan said...

I love reading your posts whether they are deep or not. I am sure a lot of young moms can relate to all you go through on a daily basis. Take care.

Courtney said...

I do believe that R's eyelashes are the most beautiful and long eyelashes I have ever seen (On Landria's Toddler site!)

Stephanie (Ocean Mommy) said...

I have two girls 9 & 6. They have always been early risers. (We homeschool and most mornings, they are ready to begin school by 6:45.)
I remember asking God when they were pre-schoolers to help them sleep until 6:00 so I could have some time with Him before they were up and moving around. He showed me over time, that it was good for them to see me spending time in the Word and praying. I would have my prayer time while they napped.

Some days it felt like I would read one verse, but other days we could read an entire chapter. It was worth it, because today they both start their day with the Lord.

I say all that to say, not one minute in the word is wasted. Even if it seems all you get is a minute!! God knows this season of motherhood demands so much! I believe that He is pleased with you and the way you mother those little gifts.

I'll pray that He will speak to you in those times when you feel like all you do is wipe noses and change pull ups...again!!