One of the interesting by-products of blogging is that it serves as a nice barometer for me of the seasons of my journey through this crazy thing called life. A couple of weeks ago, I ran into a blogging friend in-the-flesh and she commented about how deep my recent posts had been. As I laughingly told her I sometimes wished I could shake the deep just to give my brain a little break, she responded that it was an encouragement to know that even in the chaos of 3 year olds God could really be working.
Well, two weeks have passed and I cannot muster a deep thought to save my life. I have been pondering this for a couple of days and realized that the chaos of dropping naps, seasons changing and the upcoming time change have sapped me mentally and distracted me spiritually.
I have to confess there is so much "here and now" that thoughts of the deep, lasting and eternal are few and far between. The last couple of mornings, I have managed to wake up a few minutes before the trio. I have found myself staring at my ceiling in the dark asking God for strength for the day and patience. Over and over and over.
I am finding it difficult to concentrate on character and building a spiritual foundation in my children because I am too busy keeping little hands out of trouble, laundry under control, and pull-ups changed on my son who is still not #2 trained. I know this is a condition common to Moms in the trenches.
In the same way my husband & I know we must seize stolen moments to reconnect and strengthen our relationship, I pray my Lord & I may have stolen moments throughout the day. It is afterall a relationship. Time together is essential and must be a priority. When we are together lately, I just want to sit there. No talking, just resting.
I am also reminded that everything cannot always be deep and Earth-shattering. Sometimes life, love and relationships (even our relationship with God) is just work.
I am so thankful for God's amazing love for me...and His grace...and His unconditional commitment to love me just the same, even when I am overwhelmed and exhausted in the trenches. Especially when I am overwhelmed and exhausted in the trenches.
Lord, lift my head from the day-to-day stuff so I can see your face. Restore my perspective. I love you. I really, really do. Even more amazingly, You love me. How can I ever thank you?