My husband asked me last night why the blog has been so quiet for the last few days. It definitely NOT because I don't have anything to say. The problem is actually that I have so MUCH to say that I cannot get it all straightened out in my head to make a cohesive sentence.
There was lots of activity here this weekend. From birthday parties and build-a-bear, 100 miles in the car without diapers (or accidents), the kids' first experience with bubblegum, hours at the pool, an upstairs overflowing toilet that leaked through the floor and then ceiling to my dining room (nightmare!), skipped naps and my first attempt at making potato candy.
More importantly, there are deep lessons I am processing. (Pardon the bullets, but there is no other way to do this.)
* A great sermon yesterday on Esther..."For Such a Time As This" really spoke to me about what my "this" is. I don't have the answer completely.
* The arrival yesterday of our first Young Life staff person after YEARS of praying and $90k of fundraising for this ministry to start in our community. God is faithful. I cannot wait to see what fruit He brings. What is my role now?
* A Beth Moore video from our "Living Beyond Yourself" that addressed some incredible truth about why life and relationships are often hard. (Hint: Those people that it is hard to be around because they bring out the worst in us....might just be there on purpose. Those tough relationships keep us humble and help us recognize the impurity deep within us that we'd rather forget, then bring it to the surface so God can remove it.)
* My husband & I have also realized that we are overdue for a little overnight away. We want to really spend some time praying for a specific vision about what God wants for the lives of our children. So many decisions are coming at us rapid fire regarding schooling, discipline, development of the individual child (Xs 3). We both feel strongly that without a place to "fix our eyes" we can be far too easily swayed by the experiences and opinions of others.
* We also spent our car time Saturday discussing how to raise children who are self confident, but not self impressed only to decide we didn't really want them to be "self" anything. I have been processing what this really looks like (and how to instill it in wee ones) for several weeks. I am definitely still pondering that one.
* My husband...I glanced at him across the sanctuary yesterday and swooned. It was one of those moments of beautiful clarity where everything else falls away and you see with fresh eyes what you have been given. I am a blessed woman indeed. I am blown away by the incredible man he is and thrilled that he will be raising these children. Amazed that I get to spend the rest of my life as his bride.
Today I have to be in the car for a few hours again so I am hopeful God will keep working some of these thoughts out. Or maybe the list will just get longer. :-)