It has become clear to me that my coping mechanism with stressful circumstances is to search for the lesson or the deeper purpose. Because I am growing so weary of the tedium involved in potty training, I naturally have begun to look for the life lessons for me in this transition.
Interestingly, the one redeeming factor of Potty Boot Camp has been the time I have spent (while they are on the commode) at the feet of my children, waiting, looking right into their eyes. We chat. We giggle. I encourage. I instruct. We love. It is just me and that little one. That time is precious.
As I was whining to a friend of mine today about why this was such a hard task, I suddenly realized an emotion I did know was stirring: Sadness.
Swimming lessons are paying off with progress: We are leaving floaties behind. Diapers are on their way out as well. Cribs are long gone. My little ones are rapidly leaving the trappings of babyhood behind. What we are entering into is fun, but what we are leaving behind is sweet.
Don't get me wrong, I truly desire to raise confident, independent children. I have never professed to be a "baby" person. I think I become a better mother the older they get. Yet, that is the phase I know. I do not know this stage we are entering. I am intimidated. I am a bit weepy.
I know the future will hold adventure and blessings all its own...But just for today, I want to go back to last week and freeze time. Children who thrill at the sight of their Mommy and Daddy. Sweet kisses no matter who's watching. Being able to carry them in my arms or hold them on my lap. Innocence. Giggles. Unwaivering trust. Sweetness. Wonder.
Frankly, that would be selfish of me. My job is to train them up, knowing the ultimate goal is to let them go. Their lives are for the glory of God, not my personal satisfaction.
As the saying goes, life does not allow for intermission. We must savor what and when we can. Time marches on.
14 comments:
JMom, you so often seem to catch my heart in your words! One minute I'm desperately anxious for a stage to pass, the next minute I'm pining for the one we just left behind.
It's sometimes hard for me to realize that the happenings right now will soon become memories. Cherished, pined-for memories.
I'm praying for those potty-training champs of yours! I really am.
Chris in Canada
And when they become confident and independent teenagers you will be so proud! Today's post made me weepy because it is very fun as teenagers, but you do miss sweet baby stages. We watch a lot of old family videos and love them all over again! D in NC
How could I forget? CONGRATULATIONS on Potty Boot camp! Hope today was mostly clean and dry, D in NC
I think you described that aspect of motherhood perfectly -- excited about what's ahead, but clinging a bit to what's behind.
My mom told me that once when we were young, my brother looked at her and asked, "Mom, why do you have that funny smile on your face?" She said that it was because she had just watched him achieve some milestone, and she was experiencing the bittersweet feeling that you describe. She tried to explain that to him, but of course, at age 5, it went right over his head. She said that from time to time over the course of his childhood, he would say to her, "You have that funny smile again." It was always at just such a poignant moment.
I'm glad she told me that story recently, as I've had that "funny smile" myself quite a bit lately. Now I know it's a part of motherhood. (And since my brother and his wife are expecting their first child in a few months, I bet he'll soon understand that funny smile too!)
Keep up the good work with the Potty Boot Camp! I'm still praying for you all!
Keri Ann
I have so been there and move there again to that unknown place of what's ahead, a bit sad to leave what is familiar behind.
My oldest is entering middle school and full-blown adolescence, leaving behind almost all traces of little girl-ness. She looks me straight in the eyes now, because we are just about the same height.
Okay, now I am all out crying, both over your precious three and the joys you have ahead with them -- along with the dimness in my own rear view mirror of that age with my own now almost 12 year old.
Time does march on, and I plan to try and be there for all of it.
Yes, I know exactly how you feel. The days pass by like years, and the years pass by like days. It is very bitter-sweet to watch them grow up!
hey jen! i can't even begin to tell how much the Lord is using you in my life right now. we begin "camp underwear" tomorrow. and my son is older than your children. it is TIME. but i have been dreading it and putting it off. one because i just dread the whole experience. and two because i don't want him to be a big boy anymore either. i still want to carry a diaper bag for him. silly, i know.
but like i said, the Lord is using you for His glory right now. encouraging those of us out in the trenches.
press on!
I completely agree with all you said. I often want to freeze time, too. These days are so fleeting and so sweet! But, thanks for the reminder that it is not about my own satisfaction, but about raising them to be independent adults who make a difference. Oh, but I am savoring these days the very best that I can!!
I've been playing catch up, and so many of your last posts hit home, but none like this one. In fact- I just had a cry over the fact that June is over, bringing Sophie's one year calender ever closer to being filled out and done. I agree with you, I am enjoying where we are going, but miss desperately what we are leaving behind.
Wow! I've been thinking about this very subject (letting go and moving to the next stage...not Potty Boot Camp :) ) for a few days now. I'm amazed at how well my thoughts came out of your pen!
Right on, Girl!
Oh, yeah, and good luck with PBC!
Personally, I am proud of you for having such a healthy outlook on parenting. So many parents won't let go and want to hang on to their kids as they age. You are so right that God gave them to us to help them spread their wings and fly. YOU ARE A GREAT MOM! And spurring on their newfound independence each day will be a blessing (even thought it hurts like heck!). Boo-hoo!
Diapers are all I have left!! I am trying not to freak about PT, though it's hard. I want it done, but after that...no more baby.
It's such a catch 22. The anticipation of the new, but once you're there, that's it.
♥ ♥ ♥
How are you doing it? i have a 2 1/2 year old ... only one to train and it's the PITS ... he enjoys just sitting on the potty but will not go. Sometimes, rarely, he will tell me that he has to go #2. I had stopped trying as I thought maybe he's just not ready. Now however, he is getting diaper rashes ... never had one until 2 weeks ago and now he's had 2. I feel I need to be more consistent but I just haven't been sure to push through with it thinking maybe he's not ready?
have you ever heard the song "Painting Pictures of Egypt" by Sara Groves? I go to it whenever I'm dealing with a new challenge in life, not wanting to let go of the familiar. Find it if you can, it's been a blessing to me.
btw, I'm so impressed that you're tackling potty training 3 3yo's in 2 weeks! and it seems to be working!! you go girl!
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