The children have been in Day Camp this week. They are having a great time, but are exhausted and starving when they get out at 12:15. My daily strategy is to get them home, fed and down for their naps as quickly as possible to avoid meltdowns.
I spent my entire morning interviewing candidates for the executive director position at the home for children with which I am involved. Those interviews concluded at Noon and I rushed to get the children. Thinking it would be "fun," I suggested to the kiddos we could go have lunch at "Old McDonalds." I paged Daddy to see if he could sneak away between patients and meet us. Oh, what a wonderful little midday slice of family fun!
It only took about 8 minutes to get from the carpool line to the Golden Arches, but those minutes were filled with MUCH whining and repetition of the phrase, "I WAAAAANNNNNTT MILKKKKKK. MOMMY, I AM SOOOOO THIRSTY. I NEEEEEEEEED ME-YULK. MOMMMMEEEEEEE." (incessantly, for 8 minutes times 3 voices) Because McDonald's has an indoor play area that does not allow bare feet and we did not have socks, I decided to go through the drive-thru. Sobs erupted until I could get them to settle down long enough to explain that we were still going to get milk...AND a fun Surf's Up penguin toy!
Peace was restored... Until it was our turn to order and the employee informed me that their credit card machine was down and they were only able to accept cash. I did not have cash. So, I pulled out of the drive-thru line and the wailing was suddenly unbearable. I tried to explain that I was going to go to an ATM and get some money then we would be back.
Since I rarely use paper money, K informed me that I had "money" in my hand. "Use dat money, Mommy!" I tried to explain debit cards vs. real cash to starving, tired children for the next 4 1/2 minutes that it took to reach the closest ATM. All I could hear in response to my explanation was, "MOMMMMEEEE! I WANT SOME MILK. YOU PWOMISED OLE MCDONNALLLS. I SO HUN-GWY!!!!!I NEED MILK AND FWENCH FWIES. I WANTED A PENGUIN!!!YOU HAVE MONEY MOMMY. IT'S IN YO" HAND! GO BACK."
At last, I reached the ATM. It was broken. Seriously.
It was at this point that I considered maybe Y2K had happened 7 1/2 years late. Had all credit/debit card systems crashed worldwide? What on Earth! As my stress level reached a breaking point, so did their sobs. I lost it. I raised my voice. I growled. I yelled. I lost my cool. I KNOW YOU WANT FOOD. SO DO I. I AM DOING MY BEST. PLEASE! STOP! WHINING! (Does it make it any better that I used the word please?)
Thankfully, I found another machine a block away that was in working order. I got the cash. Five more minutes of whining and wailing until we were back at the arches. Daddy arrived just as I had gotten them across the parking lot and inside the restaurant...and my commitment to honor and treat my husband with kindness was put to the real test. (Did I mention I was in heels and it was 98 degrees outside?)
I apologized for yelling. I assured them that Mommy loved them very much, even when I was angry. I couldn't wait to get them down for their nap. I still feel stressed out and icky inside. I knew all the right things to do....my flesh just got overwhelmed and I blew it. This is hard.
Yet, I think about all the mothers in the world who cannot feed their tired, hot, hungry children for days and weeks on end. It is not a matter of a bad day. It is a way of life. Immediately, I have perspective.
23 comments:
I so appreciate your honesty, you give me such prospective on things. I have been reading your blog for about a year now, your husband did my g.b. surgery. Your blog teaches me so much and it is so great that you are so real about every day life instead of sugar coating it. You are a great mother and wife, they are all so lucky. I always look forward to reading your blog, and you help me with my kids through reading your experiences.
You are such a wonderful mother..bless your heart! I didn't have triplets, but I do remember those days. Have you thought about hiring a teenage girl, someone outstanding from the youth group at your church maybe, as a "just for summer" helper for a couple of hours each day? Not to stay alone with the kids but just a "helper". Not only would your kids love a teenager's attention, but think of what she could learn about nuturing? Just a thought. Thank you for blessing me through your sweet family!
You know I think you are one of the best mothers I know and this is one example of why. These situations happen and we have to laugh out loud at/with God (after the fact, of course)because we know exactly what the test is. How long will it take you to laugh and put all things in perspective? Will you lose it around your kids before? Will you say things you don't want to say? Show them a part of you that you wish didn't exist? Expose sin in our lives to the people that we want to think of us as perfect? I especially struggle with this part. But Jennifer, Jesus smiles when you apologize to your children for being human. They are well on their way to seeing the need for Christ in yours and their lives. You are an amazing example for us all. Thank you.
I am so glad you added that last paragraph about perspective - I'm sure we all take it for granted that food is readily available but for many people in the world that's not true.
I would second the idea of employing a teenager as a helper - I'm sure there are many young girls who would jump at the chance - I know this for sure because I did it myself when I was younger!
I am so blessed to have sweet help a few afternoons a week. I just need more patience too! :-)
Wow, what a great illustration to put it all into perspective. Thank you for sharing. By the way, you weren't the only mommy to lose it just before lunch today.
We are all human. Do you remember the night your dad came home and I was sitting at the dinner table with the two of you and bawling? Couldn't get the top off the pickle jar and ya'll were having a fit for pickles. Hang in.
Love
Mom
ah! we have all been there i think in one way or another! is it bad that i was chuckling inside when you got to the atm and it was broken!? :) God has a sense of humor doesn't he?! i think i would have started the yelling back at mcdonald's when you found out they couldn't take your credit card. i lose my patience so easily. but you did such a great thing by repenting to your children. that will speak so much more to them than the sin itself!
I yelled at my 21-yr old daughter this evening when she blatantly criticized my driving! The nerve!
Only, I apologized three minutes later.
It happens. It doesn't make us proud. I wish I could say it'll never happen again, but, well...
I'm a work in progress. Still.
Eh, I threw a fit yesterday. You can throw one today. Maybe we'll do better tomorrow. :)
I lost my cool today only I did not use the word please. I felt so bad afterward- luckily my girls forgive very quickly
wow I remember those days with two children after mothers day out, tired, starving, and Mc.Donalds lol.
Your children need to see your realness Jmom and the big thing is them hearing you say you are sorry. What I would also do, in the morning after a good night sleep maybe during breakfast bring it up again and talk about how that incident was. I did that with my kiddos alot and it really works.
You are awesome and I love hearing your realness. You have alot on your plate but those babies are blessed to have you for there mommy!!
Okay, I laughed outloud when I read your blog tonight...ONLY becaue I SO know that feeling!! But then I suddenly felt like crying at the end when you brought things into perspective about mothers who cannot feed or take care of their children. Ugghh! Have you thought about writing a novel?! You can make me laugh and cry JUST LIKE THAT! ;) Sandy
Being vulnerable, transparent, real - what an encouragement to other moms out there, with days as full as yours are. Bless your heart!
I would say your tantrum was pretty mild, all things considered! You handled it like a trooper.
I can relate to this scenario because not only am I way too dependant on my debit card, but I am constantly misplacing it! I have had to pull out of that line a few times myself;)
I think it speaks volumes that you admit you are not perfect and your children will pick up on that. We all have moments. The fact that you admitted a mistake and apologized is much more important than pretending nothing happened or that you are perfect. They learned a great life lesson today! Apologizing and (most importantly) FORGIVING. You are a wonderful mom with three wonderful children with sweet hearts!
Just watching them and you with Ivey at the pool is a perfect example.
It must have been something about yesterday. Allllllll the way home (30 mins) from my mom's after I picked Miss P up after work..she whined. Being 18 months old, the whine was just that..a whine. It made me _crazy_. After 20 minutes of it, and trying to placate her with her 'friend', a book, her bottle and getting no where, I snapped. "Presleigh, ENOUGH!" which made her cry. So she cried the rest of the way home.
I was in a car accident last weekend and have second degree whiplash and even driving out of necessity is a challenge and trying to placate a whiny child just put me over the top. When we pulled up in front of the mailbox (we have a Super Box, meaning the mail is in group of locked single boxes around the corner from your house, no house delivery) there was silence.
I wanted to pull my hair out.
We walked in the door and I marched her into her room, into bed, handed her her friend and she was out like a light.
I then sat down and sighed, few tears welled and I too fell asleep.
Jen, every mom has probably done what you did. The good ones apologize.
Your mom's comment was so sweet :)
I read somewhere recently that when we lose it, it's a great opportunity to apologize and then remind our little ones that that's why we ALL need God's forgiveness! Even adults. In some seasons of life, my kids see that quite frequently :)
Hang in there--toddlerhood is not the easiest of stages, but it does pass. I have Caiden to remind me of that daily, when I think I might give Grayson away!!
And I'm sorry I've been scarce lately--I'll post the reason why in a week or so, but I haven't had much time to read friends' blogs! But everytime I come here, your words bless me. :)
You don't know me but I feel like I know you through your fabulous blog. I had to laugh at your day, but I pray I will learn to my own days that can bring me to the choice of losing it in frustration and yelling out in anger. I wish I could say this doesn't happen often, but I find myself yelling lots lately. Thank you for your sweet honesty and transperancy. I love your blog.
I still believe in the two-way street thing, though. Your apology made sense; nonetheless, I would have later also encouraged each of them to apologize for their behavior too...
Pam
I'm with Pam. I'm not sure they should be allowed to cry and whine continually in the back seat. Easy for me to say...I have three, but not all the same age. It is a two-way street. still at times "lose it" with our kids. We're human...and (cringe) it happens. Bottom line...your relationship with them is still intact. Hope your day goes better tomorrow.
Okay. You really did nothing wrong. Give yourself a break! They might have been melting down, but you had a right to be upset. They could have chilled out a little! :-) It's all about compromise.
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