Before I was a Mother, I would never have dreamed that one day I would be sitting on my kitchen floor having deep thoughts about freckles. But, as I was changing K from her pajamas after breakfast, I noticed that she, too, has random freckles appearing on her body.
Something about the permanency of a freckle struck a chord with me. She might bleach or straighten her hair one day, her skin will invariably wrinkle and sag with age...but those new freckles on her torso will be with her throughout her life.
It led me to thoughts of the "freckles" that will be put on her heart. What lasting marks will be made to her spirit and her character that will always be a part of her?
I have a memory from 25 years ago of a conversation I overheard 2 adults having about me. I was about 7 years old, but I remember so clearly, "She will always be popular, but primarily because her personality is so strong people will feel like they don't have a choice but to act like they like her." I cannot tell you how that insecurity haunted me. I was popular through school, but there was always that nagging voice, taunting me with the words those adults never even knew I heard.
We all have them. What will those words and experiences be for our children? What can we do to counteract those "freckles" with the kinds of memories and lessons we'd rather them have?
I resolved this morning to be intentional about the freckles I help create in my children's lives. (and everyone I encounter for that matter) I looked K right in the eye and told her that no matter what happened Mommy, Daddy & God would ALWAYS love her. No matter what. I am not sure she can even begin to grasp what all that means...but I want unconditional love to be the basis of her self esteem. She looked down and repeated, "no matter what" then scurried off to play with her pink sequined purse.
Oh, Lord, give me opportunities to impact my children for good and for Your Glory and then give me the wisdom to use the opportunity appropriately. I absolutely cannot do this job without you. And thank you for loving me, no matter what.
11 comments:
I love this post!
I love that you are instilling the truth of unconditional love into your children's lives at a very early age. The impact of that you may never realize, but it provides for such a secure foundation.
I didn't grow up with unconditional love. I always heard how I had to do or not do that in order to gain favor and acceptance from my parents. To this day, I still "hear" those words.
My children were raised differently - with a confidence that their Heavenly Father loved them first of all (before we even knew them!) and that Mom & Dad love them and accept them for their uniqueness, a beautiful creation, and who they are becoming in Christlikeness every day.
Thanks again for sharing!
Sweet Jen, I am always so glad that I came over to visit you! Thank you for these words. They are so true. Thank you for the challenge. I love what you said about the basis of their self-esteem being unconditional love. I love that!
And, about the freckle from your past, I don't know you "in person." But, I feel like I know you through reading your heart in your posts. And, I love YOU, the you that loves her children and cares for them to the absolute best of her God-given abilities. You are such a special girl, and I am so thankful to have found your blog. I am always challenged by you to enjoy my children more, to love them through quality time and relationship. Thanks for being YOU!
On another note entirely. . . I LOVE freckles. Is there anything cuter than a freckle or two on a little child's nose?
I always called my grandchildren's freckles - "sugar spots from God's kisses" - I really enjoy your blog, it brings precious memories of our 5 children - now grown. Thanks for all your positive reflections. Also love seeing you and the family out. (Diana's Mom)
Judy
I love this post. I try to be so aware of the imprint I am leaving on Caroline's life. It's overwhelming sometimes, but I love your encouraging words.
I know what you mean, I think we all have "freckles" like that - certainly I can think of one or two of my own! But that is absolutely the most beautiful thing you can do for your little girl, and when she's older she will remember your words and understand what you meant.
Though it was many years ago, I can still remember so vividily hearing a woman say to me that when she asked her 8-yr-old son how summer camp was, his answer was:
"Great. Craig thinks I'm cool."
And off he ran.
My husband (Craig) doesn't even remember saying anything to this child, but what an impact it had on that boy.
Our words have such a lasting effect.
Chris from Canada
That was a super sweet post...I have freckles all over my body from God, but as you mentioned I have them all over my heart and soul from others--some good, some not--thanks for the sweet encouragement to put as many good ones on my childrens' hearts.
I caught our son when he was about 10, so about a year ago, using my make up to cover up his beautiful freckles... I could already feel my heart start to sink. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was hiding his freckles.
Instead of digging deeper because I figured I already knew that someone had made fun of them, I went on to tell him how beautiful they were. He was.
Later that night as I tucked him into bed, I gave each freckle a name. Then it became a game. And I kissed each one...
Of course, he would die if he knew I told this....
But as a mom, it just breaks my heart to know how much our self esteem is made or destroyed by others.
Great post
Connie
Hi,
My name is Kimberly Guinn and I have been reading your blog since I found out that I was having triplets. I delievered in Oct of last year. Today, my husband called to say that he had just left an emergency call (he's an ATL firefighter) of a grandfather to triplets. I believe it was a suspected gas leak (but everything was OK). Imagine my surprise when he told me about the web address of the triplets. It was your FIL's house. By the way congrats on the new pool at the grandparents.
Well have to meet when you guys come to ATL.
What a small, small world.
Kimberly
www.guinnfamilyhome.com
This is a beautiful post. I noticed a few new freckles on my daughters nose the other day too...but you have shed a new light on it. It is so overwhelming sometimes to think of how greatly we impact our children. And even with the best intentions, and with trying our hardest, we could imprint our children with negative freckles. This post challenges me to do what I need to do to make sure that doesn't happen.
In Him,
Holly Moran
I have noticed my 3 year old daughter's freckles lately too, and I will remember this post when I see them now. Thanks for the reminder of the impact our words can have on our children's hearts. I pray my daughter's self esteem will be based on that "no matter what" kind of love.
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