A Dog Day

This afternoon the children & I went out for our semi-daily stroll around the neighborhood. It was gorgeous and I was feeling brave (AKA crazy), so I decided to try to take our lab, Haley, with us on a leash. I did this a few times in our old neighborhood and she seemed to like it, so I thought she might enjoy checking out the world on the other side of her new yard.

A few things I should mention about Haley, she is 3 1/2 years old and very unruly. She has been through lots of dog training and obeys R, but does not respond to my voice commands AT ALL. She wears an e-collar for our electric fence and goes berserk with excitement on the rare occasion that we take her out of the yard for a walk. She weighs about 70 lbs and is strong as an ox when she is excited.

But, like I said, I was feeling crazy today. So, the thought of pushing a triple jog stroller with 80+ lbs of cargo through my hilly neighborhood while trying to control a strong, wild lab on a leash made perfectly good sense to me. By the way, for those of you who do not know me in real life, I am not a large person, nor am I particularly coordinated, strong or athletic.

Before we had even left the driveway, I was shouting, "Heel, Haley. Heel. HEEL!!" After repeating this several times, while pushing the stroller, snatching the leash and ridiculing myself mentally for such a dumb attempt, P suddenly shouted, "Egg. Egg! EGG, Haley! Egg!"
Of course, I started giggling and asked, "P, did you say egg?"
"Yes, Egg. EGG!"
"Why are you saying egg?"
"You tell Haley, Heel. I say, Egg."
OK....

After a few minutes of this, I decided to make an example out of the dog and told the children that since she could not obey, Haley lost the privilege of a walk with us. We returned her to the yard, but, alas, she had tasted freedom and decided to run back out of the yard and into the street, despite her shock collar.

There I was again, running with the big purple stroller full of children yelling commands to my disobedient, unintimidated dog. Again, P started yelling, "Egg. Egg, Haley! EGG!" in the sternest voice he could muster. This time, K & R joined in. A chorus of toddlers screaming "Egg!" as we chased a large dog down the street-- I can only imagine what the neighbors must have thought.

Eventually, I got her back on the leash and put her in the garage so we could continue our walk. (We had yet to make 2 houses down at this point.) A few minutes later, as I was pushing the children up the steepest hill in the neighborhood, K said, "Mommy, you are workin' really hard."
"Yes, honey."
"You want some of my water?"
"Yes. That is so nice. Thank you."
Then, R interjected, "Mommy, you say (Pant) (Pant) (Pant) like a dog!"

Later, as I was reflecting on the Haley fiasco, I asked P, "When you said 'egg' to Haley, what did that mean?"
P: "It means, don't get squished by a car like a bug, Haley."
K: (earnestly)"If Haley gets squished, we cry and cry. Then we not have a dog anymore."
Me: "Yes, that would be so sad."
K: (Perkily) "But, then, we could go to the store and get another dog & it be Ok."

She is clearly quite attached. Almost as attached as her mother.