A couple of months ago, I stepped back and listened to myself and realized I was doing a lot of negative parenting. In my quest to teach my children how to behave, I seemed to be focussing on correcting negative behavior and not taking time to reinforce the good.
I had seen several terrific charts at www.doorposts.net, but after ordering a few decided my kiddos might not be quite old enough for those. While Christmas shopping at Toys R Us, I came across these Responsibility Charts by Melissa & Doug. If you have any craftiness at all, you could draw something similar, but since I do not, this has worked for us.
I don't exactly use ours the way they are designed. I selected pre-made magnets for the behaviors I most want to reinforce (Be Nice, Help Mommy, Share, Say Please & Thank You, Use the Potty, Put Toys Away, No Whining). I used one of the blank magnets to also create "Obey the 1st Time."
Each child selected a set of magnets (K is balloons, R is a smiley face, P is a purple & gold star). Now, I am prompted to be much more intentional about "catching" the kids doing the right thing and rewarding that behavior with one of their special magnets. I do not use the days of the week across the top. With 2 year old attention spans, it works for us to start with a clean slate every day.
Initially, I had planned to reward a certain number of positive magnets with something special (stickers, etc.) but so far, receiving the praise and getting a magnet on the chart has been reward enough to motivate the children.
The other great benefit has been that I now have an additional step before Time Out. For small offenses, I can take away an earned magnet and put it in the 'Dog House' I drew on the chart. This actually has great punitive power. (Big offenses still get stronger punishments.)
This simple little system has REALLY improved behavior around here and prompted me to be more positive in my parenting.
I had seen several terrific charts at www.doorposts.net, but after ordering a few decided my kiddos might not be quite old enough for those. While Christmas shopping at Toys R Us, I came across these Responsibility Charts by Melissa & Doug. If you have any craftiness at all, you could draw something similar, but since I do not, this has worked for us.
I don't exactly use ours the way they are designed. I selected pre-made magnets for the behaviors I most want to reinforce (Be Nice, Help Mommy, Share, Say Please & Thank You, Use the Potty, Put Toys Away, No Whining). I used one of the blank magnets to also create "Obey the 1st Time."
Each child selected a set of magnets (K is balloons, R is a smiley face, P is a purple & gold star). Now, I am prompted to be much more intentional about "catching" the kids doing the right thing and rewarding that behavior with one of their special magnets. I do not use the days of the week across the top. With 2 year old attention spans, it works for us to start with a clean slate every day.
Initially, I had planned to reward a certain number of positive magnets with something special (stickers, etc.) but so far, receiving the praise and getting a magnet on the chart has been reward enough to motivate the children.
The other great benefit has been that I now have an additional step before Time Out. For small offenses, I can take away an earned magnet and put it in the 'Dog House' I drew on the chart. This actually has great punitive power. (Big offenses still get stronger punishments.)
This simple little system has REALLY improved behavior around here and prompted me to be more positive in my parenting.
8 comments:
Hello! I recently found your blog and have been so blessed by your posts. I am Mommy to an almost 2 year old girl and am expecting our second (a boy) soon. I can't wait to try this chart with my little girl, I too have found myself saying, "No!" and many more time outs than I would like, and the sad thing is that it doesn't really seem to be changing her behavior. I hope something like this will make a difference. I think you are the ultimate super mom and you truly inspire me! Thanks!
Bethany
What a creative Mommy you are:)
Finally! Something I learned in school put to practical use! With the rewarding though, you are absolutely right not to reward after a set number of good doings or a set number of time! Positive reinforcement and rewading are much more effective if it's spontaneous and not at a set interval or time. They won't be expecting it and they won't get so use to it that they don't bother to do things to get the reward anymore. I have a mid-term on this principle next week! What a wonderful way to find out that what I'm learning works.
A great idea! I will have to modify our current chart and do something along the lines of your blessings chart.
As always, I love reading your blog. You have a gift for words!
You must have read my mind! I was here today to look for an "email me" link so I could ask you to blog about the reward system you used after you mentioned it in a previous post! LOL Cool! Thanks!
I remembered you mentioning a chart before and hoped you would elaborate. Tips like this are always helpful to hear. Thanks!
We have that one,too! I love it! The doorpost ones are great,too!
Kim
Thank you so much!!!!
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