Cooking has never been my forte. My husband’s schedule is completely unpredictable. Therefore, on the occasions when we are able to eat dinner together as a family it is always a last minute decision and generally in a restaurant. We have been doing this since the children were 3-4 months old and they have historically been remarkably well-behaved in restaurants. Often, people make a special point to stop by our table and compliment the children’s behavior. I admit I have secretly taken great pride in this…until recently, when the stone cold reality of toddlerhood has come crashing in and knocked me right off my high horse squarely onto my bottom! Seriously. Who do I think I am? Oh, parenthood, it is truly the great equalizer.
The crash started Friday when the children and I went to a local deli where we dine weekly. The staff are predominantly retirees who comment on how they cannot believe I can take 2 year olds out for a peaceful lunch. As I was standing at the counter ordering, K threw herself dramatically on the floor and pitched a textbook temper tantrum, complete with clenched fists beating the floor as she wailed about wanting her own bag of Doritos. I tried to ignore her, just as I would at home, despite the stares from the employees and patrons. The restaurant manager insisted she must be getting sick. I assured her the only thing we were suffered from could only be cured with age.
I was hoping this was an isolated event, as getting out for dinner is really a sanity saver for me. But tonight’s dinner was a complete meal of humble pie.
Within minutes of being seated, R insisted he had poopie pants—quite loudly—over and over again. Daddy took him out to change him (not poopie) and when he returned he insisted he really was poopie this time through tears and screaming. This led to all 3 uttering various phrases all involving the word poop, in increasingly loud voices…AT THE DINNER TABLE, IN PUBLIC, while other people attempted to enjoy their dinner. I removed R from the table, warning him that his behavior would not be tolerated.
When we returned to the table, K & P were still talking about BMs. In a moment of complete desperation, I told the children I would order ice cream after dinner for anyone who could complete their meal without using the word 'poop' again. This was wrong on so many levels, one of which is the fact that we eat at Longhorn weekly and until tonight the children were not aware they served sweets.
As dinner arrived, one of the children decided they wanted to use the potty. We have only dabbled in potty training, so this was clearly an exercise in curiosity NOT necessity. Predictably, all 3 were suddenly asserting that they, too, needed to use the potty. I told them we would use the potty at home and R proceeded to pitch a fit that he “want to use DIS potty!!!” My biggest hang up about potty training, frankly, is having to take my babies into germ laden public restrooms—I despise them. Daddy, aware of this idiosyncrasy, giggled and asked, “Do you feel like you are living a nightmare right now? Like you have shown up in public naked?”
As R wailed about the potty, the waitress decided that maybe she could parent our children better than us and delivered bags of Teddy Grahams to each child, before they had even touched their food. You can only imagine how well it went over when I attempted to pry the bags of Teddy Grahams out of their hands and get them to eat steamed veggies instead.
Cue the next phrase that proved I am truly worthy of the SuperMom Hall of Fame…"If you want the ice cream & Teddy Grahams you have to eat your French fries & hotdogs first.”
It was at this point, Daddy & I did the only thing we could do. We laughed until our sides ached. How far we have come from the time when we thought we had all the answers to the behavior challenges of "other people's children." Just then, some friends from church sitting across the room turned to us and said, “We were really worried about bringing our 3 year old who had not napped today until we saw ya’ll walk in. Thanks for the entertainment.”
I have it soooo together. ;-)
13 comments:
First - I LOVE Longhorn - those Wild West Shrimp are THE best!
But probably of more interest is the old adage -
"This too shall pass" and it will -- just hang on and keep your sense of humor.
So glad you have joined the rest of mommies in the doldrums of crushed dreams and startling reality. ;)
I admire you for sticking to your guns on the teddy grahams. We would totally have given in if they were already handed to them. Keep taking the kids out and they will get through this quickly. We regularly eat out with a 5, 4, 3, and 1 year old with success.
Funny entry. :)
Hopefully it is just the holiday rush that has them a little bit "off".
I loved the story though. All you can do is laugh. So true.
Laughing right along with you!!!
Isn't it refreshing to know there is no such thing as a supermom?!
Our own imperfections and our children's imperfections keep us humble and relying on the Lord...exactly where we need to be!
The potty part had me laughing...it seems when we do eat out,someone has to go potty as soon as the food arrives. Oh the joys of this season of our life!
Thanks for your honesty.
Kim
I had to read this post to my husband. We laughed so hard WITH you. Thanks for reminding us we are not the only ones in this crazy, fun, exhausting and love-filled boat!
I always feel like I can relate to your blogs. This one hit home as a similar incident has happened to me lately. My kids are generally angels when we go out but we have our times when they are just out of control. I guess it is naturally and all you can do is laugh. I love your DH's comment about feeling naked in public. It is so true.
You know you're not alone in this area! We all have our moments, days, weeks, months, years! :) The comment by your husband was great. Puts things into perspective pretty well.
My daughter who has become a great fasinated fan of these babies and I are laughing hysterically as well right now, because all this is so typical and I am so glad you both laughed hysterically over it because it is hysterical. You are teaching those babies it is ok to laugh instead of anger. I love that so much. You and Ryland are the best!! This is the kind of parent I am as well.
Glad to hear that you have normal children. Sounds all too familiar!
They will definitely grow out of it. Then you'll move onto other embarrassing moments.
I am so sorry, but I did have to laugh. Children....they are sooo good at making us humble aren't they?
My son just cried through the whole grocery store because he wanted to eat the yogurt I was buying. He wanted it NOW! I felt like everyone thinks.."she is a horrible mom." But you know what....my mom always says, "everyone has been there one time or another and if not, they will get over it. You are doing the best you can." Good advice. We have to stop worrying what others think and concentrate on the now and what we are teaching our children.
I like the fact you and your husband can laugh until your bellies hurt. The other option is crying and that is no fun!
. . .and if that's the worst that happens this week, sit right back down on those haunches and sing praise be to God! I know you all love to sing! maybe even sing in public!
Toddlers, gotta love them.
sugar packettes were a new diversion this week as we waited for our orders to arrive. . .all those pretty colors, pink, blue, yellow, brown and white. Who knew she could open them?? Who knew the 4 older ones would think it funny to watch and not inform Mom or Dad? Who knew both Mom and Dad could be so distracted as to not even notice? ah well. . .
We were pretty successful at eating out with two kids, but with the arrival of Addison, we were finished! We've yet to have a fun dinner out with all three.
I'm impressed that this is the first time yours have been a handful--but they're so stinkin' cute, I doubt anybody in the restaurant really minded!!
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