Our morning routine consists of breakfast followed by a little TV time for the kiddos while I clean-up the kitchen and get things ready for the day. This morning, the trio looked so sweet wallowing on the floor that I decided to join them. As I laid in the middle of all those sweet arms and legs, someone was playing with my hair, someone was holding my hand, someone else was rubbing their feet on my legs-- it was heavenly. I knew that this was one of those times Max Lucado would call an "eternal instant," where time stops and you are just IN the sweet moment.
It was only a matter of time before a toddler grew restless or a sibling touched another and made them cry. At some point, I would have to get up and clean up...but for those stolen moments my heart was so full. I broke the silence by saying "I love you guys." K responded, "Love you." R repeated, "Love you guys." and P said "Hold you, Mommy."
Being a Mom is clearly the most challenging thing I have ever done. At times I feel like I have lost myself, but this morning I am reminded of how much I have gained. God, you are soooo good.
6 comments:
your words make me weep inside. for the beauty, the joy, and yes, the goodness of god.
Such a beautiful moment to share, thank you!
I don't think you've lost yourself at all. I think you have found yourself -- and looking at yourself through the eyes of the three miracles - how blessed you are.
Beautiful post.
Yes, that was so beautiful! And it made me miss my kids being so little! Savor every moment. I still talk baby toddler talk to my youngest since I am not ready for him to grow up any more!! (But he corrects me! Like when I say "tank too" he will say thank you! Ah, well!)
I sometimes feel as though I have lost myself too. When I stop and think about it, I haven't really lost myself, I have just grown into what God had in mind for me. I am becoming who I am meant to be. It is a process and such a sweet ride to be able to become oneself through our children. Not sure I'm making sense so I'll leave it at that.
Alison- I think you explained the "losing yourself" beautifully. I think motherhood exposes you to the core of who you really are in the flesh...it is hard to put on a polished act when you are sleep deprived, unshowered, emotionally exhausted and covered in stains of various origins. It has made me deeply aware of my real need for God. There is no question my life so far was about preparing me for this role--and motherhood is certainly making me a better person...but, whew, this refining stuff is hard work. :-)
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