Pressing Pause

I had planned to start writing much more regaularly once all our children were back in school. With more quiet hours on my hands, I had hoped to start sorting through the many thoughts that have flooded my heart and mind in recent months. 

Instead, I have gone quiet--listening, reading, talking to other women. In the processs, I have realized the more in the thick of life I am, the less able I am to write a cohesive post. This seems largely due to my desire to wrap things up in neat compartmentalized packages. 

In pondering this phenomena, I realized some people write to sort through their feelings...but I seem to do so more as an opportunity to plant flags and mark lessons I am learning. As I have gotten older, I have become leery of speaking too soon--aware that most lessons evolve over time. While I do believe there is purpose to everything under heaven, four decades have taught me that what we generally jump to first as the reason from a particular season, is often just the beginning. 

And, frankly, my greatest personal headlines at the moment are intricately linked to other people's stories in a way that makes it impossible for me to share 'truth' without telling more than what is mine. 

There are many loose ends at the moment. Too much for this overthinker to summarize. Impossible to turn into simple lessons. 

So, rather than hover as an observer--or use words to put things in tidy and oversimplified boxes, I am attempting to be present without reporting. Pay attention. Show up. 

I hope the writing comes--because I don't want to forget.