Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Hurrying Her

It was one of those mornings. Exhausted from a long night with the puppy, I rolled over for one more snooze as my husband was leaving for work. That 10 minutes turned into 40 until my daughter's face was suddenly next to my bed.

"Mommy, I am hungry."

Sunlight was cascading into my room in an unusual way--brighter than it should have been. It was my first clue that we were running very late for school. Welcome to Tuesday!

I popped out of bed in a panic and urged the children to get on their uniforms while I ran down to pop waffles in the toaster, bacon in the microwave and the puppy out to potty. I dashed back inside from the blustery morning, barefoot and barely awake to find my girl exactly as I had left her--curls a mess, in her pajamas and watching me.

She should have been dressed or at least dressing. Instead she just stood there--smiling. Instead of her smile calming me, it sent me reeling. Why doesn't she get it?  It was not my finest moment.

"What are you doing? Why aren't you dressed? Sweetie, we are VERY LATE. Get upstairs. Now!"
She stood there frozen, still studying my face... 
Tears welled up in her eyes and she quietly responded, "I just needed to know about the weather."
My heart hurt. K is such a good girl. She doesn't talk back. She is loving, kind, hard working, eager to please.
I knelt down to her face, still flustered and frustrated, but also convicted. "I am sorry for freaking out. I love you. You are such a precious girl. I just need for you to learn to hurry. When will you learn to hurry?"

The words reverberated in my head and heart. This frantic, rushing pace is a learned trait. There are so many things I want to teach her...but is this one of them? Or is this an area where the Lord is using her sweet spirit to teach me?

I believe that it is important to raise responsible children--who respect other people and their time. Truthfully, I am the one who overslept. I was the one in a panic. When I hurry I freak out, plain and simple. I put 'getting there' or 'getting it done' ahead of the people and relationships in my life.

I wasn't particularly concerned about the weather, her day or (gulp) her heart. I just wanted to be on time--responsible and put together. I apologized to her and as we drove to school I had time to apologize to God. As the conversation replayed in my head I heard my voice: "You are such a precious girl, K. I just need for you to learn to hurry. When will you learn to hurry?"
Then I felt the Lord's words on my heart: Part of her precious spirit is the fact that she hasn't yet learned to hurry. I love you, Jen. You are precious to me and I need you to learn when to slow down. 


Gulp.

9 comments:

Bill and Jenn said...

This totally resonated with me. I, too, have a little girl who doesn't speak the language of HURRY UP. Unfortunately, she comes from a family that is very adept in the art of hurrying. The story of your morning could be the story of my every morning--minus the oversleeping bit. I have a tendency to just lose it with her when she doesn't do her morning routine (get dressed, eat breakfast, brush hair, brush teeth) with efficiency. But then I remember she's 5. And then I think, "But she needs to be more responsible!! She's going to make her sister late!" And so the internal argument goes.... Trying to remember that God gifted her in many ways-- she is gentle and compassionate, more concerned about people than the clock. More concerned about soothing her fussy baby sister than putting her shoes on for school. :) She may not be 'efficient' and 'responsible' the way her older sister is, but she is precious in His sight and I need to extend her grace. And maybe wake her up a little earlier. ;)
Thanks for allowing my heart to ponder.

Cuz I'm the mama! said...

Spot on. Thank you.

Christy said...

Another wonderful post to think about. This is so me. Thank you.

dee said...

Oh, how I love this! I also place a high priority on "getting there" on time, and it is not my children anymore who are not "hurrying." If you get my drift... ��

christopher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
powers family said...

This post really resonated with me as well. Both the hurrying part (dress quicker! eat quicker! brush/floss/bathe quicker!), as well as the conviction that God places on my heart anytime I lose my cool with my kiddos. And, as a friend recently reminded & encouraged me, when our children see us flustered and then hear our apologies, they learn about real life, and forgiveness, and grace. I'm so thankful for the forgiveness that God, and my kids, so readily give. Thanks, JMom for another great post.

T and J's NurseMom said...

This is me. Completely. And your daughter is my daughter. And this was my morning. Gulp indeed. Thank you.

T and J's NurseMom said...

This is me. Completely. And your daughter is my daughter. And this was my morning. Gulp indeed. Thank you.

HW said...

Oh I so remember those days and the panic that set in when a certain someone overslept.

Just to chime in from the "other end" of the parenting journey; please know that your little ones will not remember those rough mornings. The days you consider horrible now will NOT be the days they remember as they grow up. This I am sure of from reading your blog for several years.

Just as we mamas forget the physical (and emotional) pain of bringing our children to us, so too do they forget those days when we just didn't get it right. They remember our heartfelt efforts. And for that I am so thankful.