This morning when my mind wandered during church I found myself thinking about all the 'wrong things' I was doing as a Mama. I was tired after a weekend where my husband has worked three consecutive 14-18 hour days. I adore my children, but this gig can be tough. I was a prime target for the Enemy to get into my head and start his jabbering.
For me it has sounded something like this in the last 24 hours:
You are a hypocrite. You write about how much you love your children, but that tone you just used...it certainly wasn't very loving.
And your heart attitude? Well, what would people think if they could see how that looks sometimes? You should be ashamed of yourself. Why aren't you playing with them more, reading to them more? You should at least be more patient!
You can't do this, you know. I know you are trying. But that's the problem, you are trying and yet you are still missing it on so many fronts. Did you hear how your child talked back to you this morning? He is totally going to rebel.
And, by the way, why are you having such a pity party? Your husband is the one handing out difficult diagnoses, under unbelievable stress and working so hard. You have it made in comparison.
And on and on it goes in my heart & mind if I let it.
I want to please God. I want to do well with what He has entrusted me. I get how important of a job it is to be a wife to a busy man and Mommy to three little souls. But I am just one girl in this big world...and I get tired.
And what I ADORE about my Savior is that He knows that. So, when I showed up to church as a single Mama this morning He met me there. He spoke to my heart. He reminded me that those were LIES from the Enemy that I was allowing to take root in my heart.
I am fallible. I am weak. I am selfish and impatient sometimes...but I am a child of God. He lives in me. I have the gift of His Holy Spirit and when I call for Him and ask Him to help me raise these little souls for Him---He will not turn away. He WILL listen and respond.
'You're my servant, serving on my side.
I've picked you. I haven't dropped you.'
Don't panic. I'm with you.
There's no need to fear for I'm your God.
I'll give you strength. I'll help you.
I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.
Isaiah 41: 9b-10 The Message
I love that God doesn't promise our perfection when following Him--only His presence. And when I mess up, it is to His Glory. He can and will use it to teach them that ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
He loves these children & He loves me (and you) as His child.
If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. James 1:5-6 The Message
If I could just learn to lean into HIM and trust HIM. Oh, the peace it would bring.
8 comments:
Thank you so much for this post...spoke directly to this mama's heart. I so enjoy your blog...never comment, but want to thank you for so openly sharing your heart, and journey. I am a mom of twin boys (almost 18, seniors in high school...) and a girl (10 yrs old). There are many times things you have written have ministered to me. Although I don't think it is necessarily your primary reason for blogging, God is using your gift, and heart. Many, many thanks.
Kimberly from Alabama
I arrived here through someone else's blog. I'm sure it didn't happen by chance, but a divine appointment rather. I was brought to tears by this post, my heart knowing that feeling all to well. The enemy lies to me about these very things as often as I will allow it. I really needed this today. You absolutely encouraged my heart and turned my eyes toward the one who loves me (and my children) the most, and who holds us all in the palm of his nail scarred hands. Thank for sharing, for being a light. :)
Thank you for this post. As a stay-at-home mama of 2 under 2, I get stressed and overwhelmed at least 100 times a day. When that happens, I always try my best to stop, take a breathe, and remember that God blessed me with these two precious babies. Yes it's tough, but also an incredible joy to be called "Mama".
You had my full attention at your sinful thought of "He's totally going to rebel".....I have to fight that doubt constantly with the gospel. So thankful that God will still do his will in spite of me and my many weaknesses.
Great Post! I had to share on my FB page as I know so many moms feel the same way. It's good to have it all put in perspective.
I so adore your blog and your outlook on life. I too had a week like this with my husband gone for a work retreat, then a busy weekend solo while he entertained friends. Up next is a call weekend. I was starting to have a pity party, but had the same thoughts as you, "His workload is 100 times more stressful and complicated than mine."
Thank you for this post...and for the past three or four posts. They have all hit home with me and helped me during a difficult week.
I cannot thank you enough for this post. I needed to hear it. I often feel God speaks to me through your blog, and that definitely happened with this post.
I am behind on blog reading, but my timing for reading this post is absolutely perfect. I love the verse you shared from Isiah. I think I need to memorize that and hopefully will recall it when I hear those LIES pop into my head. Thank you for sharing!
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