Time Well Spent

I love to teach a good lesson. This tendency has gotten me in relational scrapes on more than one occasion when it has come across as more of an "I told you so" from a know-it-all than a truth-in-love experience with a caring friend. With God's lead, I am learning.

One of my favorite parts of being a parent is when life experience/consequences tee up a great teaching opportunity. I also do my share of 'big important talks' around the breakfast table--and frustrated lectures when things implode. While I usually walk away from those times feeling like I can mark that talk off my imaginary list of things good Mamas do, I am learning that the most precious life conversations unfold in the most unlikely times.

It has been a long, very child-centric holiday break. I have played lots of games and hosted lots of play dates at the expense of other adult responsibilities. I am tired and I have wondered more than once if I should have gotten a babysitter a bit more so I could get some things done. I mean, how much chess, mancala and Wii can one woman play?

As if in answer to some of my wondering, three times in the last three days I have had significant and meaningful one-on-one conversations with my children. None of them were planned. They all grew out of them choosing to confide something in me that they were hurt over or worried about and my responding to their lead. One was over insecurities about friendships and the challenge of 'dialing back' a strong personality, another was about a child with special needs and how to respond to them, yet another was about K's concern that she doesn't "have a favorite boy yet."

Back when I was in the professional world we used to describe a certain style as "Seagull management" because of the propensity for swooping in and pooping all over everyone and leaving. I was thinking tonight about how that can be a trap of parental style too--especially in busy seasons and/or stressful times with multiple children.

I was challenged tonight to try to remember the approach the ministry of Young Life has long embraced--earning the right to be heard. Every hour with my children won't hold a life-changing/character building lecture, but every hour on their turf, in their world, showing them that I think they are important is making tremendous deposits to our relational accounts. I am earning the right to speak into their life.

I am an old school Mama in some ways. Respect and discipline are important to me. As my children's God-appointed earthly authority, I recognize that I shouldn't have to 'earn' anything...but the softening that happens when my actions, my time and my presence (not just my words) indicate my care for them is priceless.

It is a long-term investment--but I believe the dividends are worth it!

	Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 NIV