Tonight as I finished tucking the children in and was turning the nightlight on in an adjoining room I heard R's voice softly calling me.
I have to confess that I am usually a bit impatient with these bedtime add-ons. Selfishly, I declare myself 'off the clock.' These last minute requests tend to be far more about stall tactics than matters of importance. Every now and then they knock the breath out of me. Something about the softness of R's tone tonight made me pay attention.
"Yes?" I responded.
"Maybe we can get your birfday moved to December."
"Why would we do that?" I asked.
"So we can catch up to you and be the same age. Then we can go to da cemetary at the same time instead of you going before us."
"Oh, sweetie..." That was really all I could muster off the cuff.
"How much older are you than us?" P asked.
"30 years older," I responded.
I saw the wheels turning in their little brains.
"God has a plan, guys. It will all be okay."
I like to have the answers. I like wisdom, life lessons, hope and neat little bows at the end of conversations (and blog posts). I am learning in lots of different ways in this season of my life that there are many things on this side of Heaven we will never understand or be able to explain. Some things just require faith.
"Some say faith is a childish game.
Play on, children, like its Christmas Day."
-lyrics from Live Forever by Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors