Tuesday, April 27, 2010


A few days ago I was in a favorite local store and noticed a wonderful picture frame with this quote written on the mat: "A mother holds in her heart what she can no longer hold in her arms."

When it almost made my eyes misty, I realized I am starting to have some pre-birthday anxiety. In less than a month from today my children will celebrate their 6th birthday. Although I don't find myself actively feeling emotional, I do have all kinds of questions about '6 year olds.'

Do they need a later bedtime?
Should we reevaluate chores and allowance? 
Are they too old to be carried/held occasionally?
Are they old enough for Nintendo DS?

I mean, it is not like a day on the calendar changes everything overnight, but I feel like 6 sounds so much older than 5.

I need to relax. 


Shannon and Carey said...

MommaJ......Oh how I know the feeling. It's ok to feel that way. We are moms. I say you just keep on doing what you are doing.
Happy Bday (3x)to those beautiful 6 year olds.
-Shannon in Austin
(My twins just turned 4 and I got teary eyed too!)

Traci said...

Okay- I think I can help you. Wait until summer to experiment with bedtime. Go gradual and just extend it a little- our 10 year olds just went from 8 to 8:30 and occasionaly 9:00 during the school week- we let them stay up to 10 or so on weekends.

With much anxiety we gave each of the three a DS at 6. Best toy ever- the deal was this- they received three games. If they kept up with them until the next holiday they could have more. No games rated anything other than E (everyone)- but they are great- they can communicate with each other virtually from their machines if they are close enough, so they can all play the same game at the same time against each other while each is on his/her own game. The Mario/Sonic Olympic games are the best for that. Feel free to e-mail me if you'd like we've mastered the management of the DS over the years and we've never had a problem. And the rest...the rest will come naturally. You are equipped to parent them and they are equipped to be your kids. All will be fine.

Liz said...

I have a very close friend who lost a child last year. I'd LOVE to find that frame to give her for Mother's Day...or even a belated Mother's Day. What store did you see it in?

Bailey's Leaf said...

1. No change in bedtime for us. K- goes to bed at 8:00 with a slosh time to 8:30 PM. Period.
2. Our policy for allowance came from Rocks in My Dryer, I believe. Split their age in half and that would be the maximum allowance for the week. Of course, in our house a weekly allowance isn't a guaranteed lock. You must work for your allowance. Do nothing, get nothing. Do some, get some. Do all, get all. Do I have to nag? You get docked.
3. Carrying is up to you. Frankly, I miss it, but my 6 year old child is 48" + and 56 ish pounds. When I lift her, I pull major muscles and require healing time.
4. Nintendo DS? In my house, the DS is mine (for Brain Age games, thank you.) Leapster is what K- has. It is just enough, but not too much. They are still little. I know people have it for children even younger than ours, but I think that it is something that can be considered a bit extravagant for a little person. Waiting until K- is older.

While we're on the subject of age related things, how do you feel about pierced ears? We're sticking with what I had when I was younger. Our K- has to wait until age 12. You have a girly girl. Has she been asking?

(My K- stroked my earrings about a year or so ago. She told me how pretty they were and how her friends were getting their ears pierced. "Oh really? Do you know how they pierce your ears?" "No." "Well, it is like a shot." It has never been brought up again.)

JMom said...

Thanks for the feedback. I love posts that have these kinds of convos in the comments.

Liz- I emailed you. I misquoted the frame a bit. I looked back at the photo I took to remember it and it actually says, "Mothers hold in their hearts what grows too big for their arms."

Bailey's Leaf- K has not even mentioned ear piercing. I was 10, so I plan to put that off for a while.

Thanks again for the feedback.

Mary Lou said...

The only one I will comment on,is the holding/carrying one, everyone else gave you excellent advice/thoughts on the others. The carrying, depends on thier weight and your back....holding/cuddling..they are way too young to not cuddle/hold when they want the contact. I have an eleven year old grandson, who still likes to cuddle and you had better believe I will cuddle with him when he asks...he is getting too old and at twelve I will say no, don't think he will ask, ha, ha. But at six, they are still young enough to need the contact. I think they will let you know when they no longer want to be held. You have such wonderful insticts about them, you will know. Blessings on your sweet family.

Daree said...

Can't help myself...

bedtime-depending on if they are waking you up earlier and earlier=bedtime later and later. The problem in your house is probably going to be that each one will need more or less than the other and individually the other ones will see that it is unfair that one gets to stay up later than the other.

chores and allowance-can not say enough about the fact that kids are so much more capable than we give them credit for.

I hold them EVERY TIME they ask me to...because I can and because they want me to. That is fading everyday:( so why wouldn't I? tonight i held b in my lap after dinner. she still does that every night :)! I Love it!

Nintendo DS...get the dsi though. let them practice all those funny faces and laugh their heads off...also, write notes to each other...they will have so much fun! Plus, it is real entertaining when you are real busy and in a place where they can't be disruptive.

I can't believe those babies are going to be 6...I am going to start crying all over again tonight. Miss and love you all!!!

Theresa, Jon & Kids said...

I read your title, "Pre-Six" and immediately thought your family was growing to include one more child. :-)

Hope said...

My youngest will be 6 in July. I still put her to bed at 8 because she doesn't like to get up in the morning, so I am just going to follow her lead.

The DS is what she will be getting for Christmas this year. :) We don't do a lot of small gifts, but generally a big item and some accessories, etc...

Holding and carrying? She doesn't ask for that often and it really depends on the reason. She is all about some good snuggle time though, so we do that. Often. LOL

Peter and Nancy said...

I think it must feel more poignant when all of your kids are the same age! Hang in there -- I've gotten misty for different ages or occasions, but ours are spread over a 6-year span. :o)

We are holdouts on video games -- we just got our first one,a plug & play Spiderman game (for the TV) for my son's 8th birthday. There just doesn't seem to be enough spare time for video games, with school, church, piano, etc.

When our 4th child comes home next year, we will be getting Wii, though! She will be adopted, and we will need to keep her routine consistent and close to home for a few months.

S said...

I don't know about most of your questions as G had just turned three but one I can answer....they are NEVER, NEVER, NEVER too old to be held or carried. I still get cuddles from my mom and still sit on her lap sometimes and she is in her 60s (and I'm definitely older than 6).

Collins Characters said...

I would recommend the DSi...My daughter (age 10) and son (age 7) enjoy taking pictures with them. They can create borders around the pictures and other silly things if they want to. They can record voices/short conversations with the DSi. We enjoy looking at their pictures!! It is sooo enjoyable to see the pictures from their perspective!! The kids can write and send it to each other using the pictochat (not sure if I am spelling pictochat correctly...). My daughter says you can only send this writing to people sitting near you. My kids usually pictochat with each other in the car and it's fun to read their notes to each other.

dee said...

I haven't been able to carry my children for quite a while,but believe it or not-they will all still crawl up in my lap(or what of them will fit in it)at ages 22, 17, and 16! It is usually when they want their back scratched, but I will take what I can get. :) Love,love,love it.