I am feeling terrific. Because I am still on lifting/strenuous activity restriction for another day or so, I have to keep reminding myself that how I feel is not the right gauge. Acting the way my body felt is, after all, what caused my minor setback Friday. This led to some deep thought today about how deceptive 'feelings' and 'appearances' can be. Oh the trouble we can land in when we allow those things to be our guides!
Yesterday, after a long weekend of managing energetic children without my absent-because-of-trauma-call husband, I finally reached a point where I had no choice but to admit my need for help. I cannot really explain why this is so hard for me except that I feel like everybody has their hands full with their own 'life stuff' and I don't want to burden them with mine.
I think there is also the unfortunate truth of my pride. I don't want to let folks 'behind the curtain' when my life is in disarray. I felt the Lord nudging me to 'give it up' and allow the body of Christ to serve us...and what a blessing it was!
Yesterday my precious neighbor insisted on coming over to help with the two things she knew were making me batty: the unmade beds and the week's worth of laundry in my laundry room. She wound up picking up the rainy weekend's toys scattered about and helping get my children ready for bed while she was at it. When she left, my home was orderly and the children were all but tucked in...what a gift! I told her later, she TRULY spoke my love language of orderliness!!!
I am really a long way from OCD, but I am amazed at how much orderliness (or the lack thereof) in my home can effect me. I think there is just SO much about life that is beyond our control, knowing I can make sure the beds are made provides some peace. I know this is an illusion, but it works for me. :-)
Another friend invited us over to play after church and showed up later with dinner. Today my sweet mother-in-law drove to town to get groceries and complete the monumental task of finishing up the laundry. My mood has been so much lighter, knowing I do not have all these huge tasks waiting on me when I can return to normal on Wednesday!
Several years ago I saw a counselor (when I was nursing my post break-up broken heart). As good counselors so often do, he went much deeper than the thing I went to see him over, into deeper issues in my life--and control was the biggest thing he challenged me to submit to God. Ten years later, here I am: Learning the same lessons in new ways. I have truly come a long way, but I am reminded I have a ways to go!