The thing about being a 'thinker' is that I can get myself tied up in knots in my mind--I have heard it called Paralysis By Overanalysis. I am so busy pondering what the best use of my time is, that I cannot seem to zone in on any one thing and get it done.
I am reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, which seeks to reorient the reader's world view to how to live in response to the relentless love of our Father. When I really pause to think about the awesomeness of God it makes me feel quite small. Yet, as one valued highly enough by the Almighty that He would sacrifice the life of His one and only son, it would seem I am somehow very important and significant. I want to live in response to that.
But the reality of life is that I have bills to pay, errands to run, clothing to launder, meals to provide...the list goes on and on. This is to say nothing of the distractions I invite into my world: Facebook, pointless television, window shopping.
My Tuesday morning group is studying David through Anointed Transformed Redeemed by Kay Arthur, Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer. As I was reading this morning about David and his identity as 'a man after God's own heart' I yearned to be identified that way.
The world would tell us that it requires living a big life, doing big things. Yet, Priscilla Shirer points out that David's own writings in Psalm 23 of the Bible reveal "a man who trusted God, led a quiet life of devotion, pursued holiness despite his imperfection, was thankful, and remained consistently devoted to God regardless of life's circumstances."
I am looking for ways to make my days more meaningful. Laundry must be done, so I am trying to listen to online sermons while I do it, listen to praise music and/or pray for my family members as I put their clothing away. I have also found this is a great time to return phone calls to friends.
I struggle with whether I am too intense sometimes, but being a thinker is how God made me. I don't want to have a shallow existence. But that doesn't mean I should get so bogged down in thinking I forget to act. So, I return to God's Word with my questions. What do you want from my life, Father?
"He has shown you, o man, what is good. And what the Lord requires of you? To live justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with our God." Micah 6:8 (NIV)
I couldn't help but compare it in the Message--and giggled at God's specific answer in this paraphrase:
"But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don't take yourself too seriously— take God seriously." Micah 6:8 The Message