We had a Christmas gathering tonight of our Young Life committee and leaders. Our friend Sweeney is between cancer treatments and feeling much better--so much so that he led our gathering. At the conclusion of our time he shared a little about what God has been teaching him. His opening was a little scandalous as he addressed the old adage that "it is better to give than to receive."
He argued that many times it is actually pretty terrific to receive. He went on to remark about how the American culture is deeply entrenched in the 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' attitude--that if we try harder, do more, we will feel better. Yet, a large part of our belief system as Christians requires us to embrace that we cannot do enough or be good enough to earn our salvation. We must receive the free gift of grace that was given to us through the birth, death and resurrection of Christ.
I was reminded of the wise words of a wonderful counselor I saw in my mid-twenties. "Your problem," he said, "is that you believe the whole world of relationships is comprised of two extremes: independence or codependency. You have neglected to consider the vast space between the two called interdependence--where people live as they were designed to...in community with one another."
He was right. I have grown a lot as a person by remembering that the true Christian life involves being a good giver AND a good receiver. The truth of any meaningful giving that we will ever do is that it is an overflow of the grace and mercy we have already received.
It also made me think about the whole "Santa is watching" component of Christmas. I don't want to motivate my children to work harder to earn the favor of Santa. I want them to be filled with wonder and amazement as they receive gifts with no strings attached...much like the gift we received 2008 years ago.
"...in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:7-9 (NIV)
"Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving." Ephesians 2:7-9 (The Message)
Yes, I want to be a good giver. But, Lord, help me also learn to receive well. May I receive your mercy, your love, your peace and your instruction with grace.
9 comments:
The entire family of Christians is a symbiotic relationship - we all benefit from each other and singly none of us function as well. Sometimes we give, sometimes we receive but all is from God when you think about it.
Ephesians 4:14-16 (King James Version)
We can't write "our own script". We have a heavenly one to follow.
14That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;
15But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
16From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.
Many people say "we don't take charity". That's tantemount to rejecting God in that CHARITY is synonymous with LOVE in the original Greek.
But we also want to work hard, not to merit FAVOR with God, but to PLEASE God - an important distinction. Obedience is so very important - and required over sacrifice according to Samuel in the OT:
1 Samuel 15:22 (King James Version)
22And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.
Please write a book. Seriously.
I'm glad to hear your friend is doing well -- I was wondering, after your first posts.
-- Nancy
I have read your blog for a while now. Your words really inspire me. Thanks!
Being a good receiver has definitely been a challenge for me, but I have made great strides over the past few years. My husband is in the Army and he is currently on his second deployment in 3 years. We have 3 children, ages 1, 3, and 5. While he has been away, we have both had to pray about being good receivers. As a person who is a natural giver, it was very challenging for me to let others do for me and help me. When my 3 year old was born, my husband had just left for Iraq 3 days prior. With a newborn and a 19 month old living in Alaska away from all family, I had to rely on others for a lot that year! My church and military family was amazing to me.
One day I was feeling guilty about how much a particular lady was helping me out with the children. She said something that really has stuck with me. She said if I didn't allow her to do the things she was doing, then she would be missing out on the blessing of being a "cheerful giver". She reminded me that all of us in different periods of our lives take turns being givers and receivers and we should be blessed by both times.
So now when someone offers to help I am better able to be a gracious receiver. I still have some struggles with it, but I now can see a need and the blessing of being both a giver and a receiver.
Amy in Tennessee
Hello,
I remember a year of so back you received your blog in gift form... do you remember which company your father-in-law used? My email is garrettkrobinson@embarqmail.com
IF you still have that info off the top of your head it would be awesome- Hope you all have a nice holiday- I love reading your blog!
Jen, I had a weird dream the other night. I met you & your family somewhere & we became instant friends. I learned the names of your children, my mom(who is deceased)was there. And everyone got along famously! Hmmm. I know we don't live close to each other. And I don't usually remember my dreams.
So i am just reading my comment- which didn't make any sense. I wanted to find out who you used to print your blog into a book last Christmas? Garrett/Tallahassee, FL
Garrett- I am so sorry I missed this commnet. Here is the post I wrote about the gift. In the comments section he described how he did it.
http://lotsofscotts.blogspot.com/2006/12/ultimate-bloggy-mama-gift.html
Thank you so much! I'm sure you are terribly busy this time of year and appreciate you sending!
G.
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