Our early mornings frequently start with all three children climbing into my bed for cuddles while we listen to Daddy getting ready for the day in the adjacent bathroom. He gives everyone goodbye love before he leaves around 6:15 and that is our cue to get out of bed and get going.
My husband is incredible. He works 75-95 hours a week (depending on weekend call), but truly is engaged and giving us his best when he is home. Because of his committment to us and his acknowledement of the demands of his job, he has let go of other outside interests except a fishing trip once or twice a year.
When we were first married I resented the amount of time he spent at work. I have grown to understand that it is truly a calling. He is not a work-a-holic or motivated by greed and financial reward. He is motivated by obedience to a call God placed on his life to serve others through medicine. He strives to treat his patients with the same degree of respect, compassion and professional excellence that he would expect if he or a family member were experiencing a medical crisis.
Although I 'get' that (most of the time), I wonder if my little people will grow up understanding why Daddy has to often miss things in their life. As they get older and are involved in more activities, I worry a little more. As a result of these thoughts, this morning's conversation with R was an especially sweet blessing.
As we were laying in the darkness he spontaneously said, "Daddy really likes to be with us Mommy. He loves our family, but there are a lot of sick people that need him to take care of them some days too."
I know the great burden my man bears in trying to keep us all afloat and his desire to serve BOTH his patients and his family with excellence. I praise God for a man who takes his responsibilities seriously. We all know despite his absence that his love and commitment to us are solid. What a blessing!
13 comments:
That really is remarkable. May it always be so!
My husband has always traveled a great deal with work - especially when our kids were preschoolers. He would be gone for weeks at a time. Like your husband, though, when he's home, he is completely ours. Now that our kids are teenagers, we see absolutely no indication that his frequent travel harmed them in any way. They are both very confident in their dad's priorities, and they are both crazy about him. I think your kids will do just fine, as you both have managed this very delicate balancing act.
I know how you feel. My husband is a funeral director. It is a call that we know came from God. He is at work many nights and weekends. Our children are grown now but we are still active as a family. There are grandchildren involved now also. My husband was in the Air Force for 21 years as the children were growing up. It is possible to remain close and as the family grows, you adapt.
I have been reading your blog for awhile now and can tell that you care for you family deeply. God will honor the commitment that you have made to Him and your family.
You are blessed with a wonderful husband. :)
Thank you for this. As a wife of a resident, I too often worry about how my children will perceive his grueling schedule. I still have to work on my attitude when he is on rough rotations and away from home, but I don't want to project any negativity to my boys. I needed to read this post today...
This is a nice tribute to your husband.
You are blessed to have such a wonderful husband! I've got "one of the good ones" too. He just left for Iraq for a year with his Reserve unit. My girls are all still small and really don't understand his absence (it's tough to explain a soldier's duties to 2 and 3 year olds), so I pray that God will guard their little hearts from worry and help me to remind them of Daddy's love in little ways every day.
thank you for this! my husband is in ministry, and i struggle with resenting the hours. it's just cause i want him for myself. it's nice to know that it's a universal struggle. super encouraging.
Years ago I came to realize that the same devotion he gave to doing the best job possible with his "other job" outside the home was what made him such a dedicated and devoted husband as well - and helped me cope with the inevitable business trips, long hours when completing projects, etc.
All our children are grown and married with children of their own. I asked them once if their dad being gone so much of the time was something negative they remember about their childhood and the response was surprising as well as wonderful. The general consensus was no, they didn't think of it as time away and time there. It was just his job but they knew he loved them and was always there for them even if not physically present wherever we were living at the time. And he didn't need to be physically there to discipline either. Many times there was the one-on-one conversation with one of the children to deal with a particular issue I had flagged. Even 5000 miles away, he could command respect, discuss wrong-doing, discipline, and forgiveness.
Faith. It boiled down to faith in their father.
He didn't have to be there physically to reinforce who he was, that he loved us, that we would be provided for, that he would be coming back.
And that's exactly like our heavenly Father. That's why Godly earthly fathers are so important in developing faith relationships - they can "make or break" the relationship in the future with our Heavenly Father.
Faith. It's wonderful stuff, isn't it?
This is beautiful. I'm so glad the REAL message is sinking in to your children's souls.
What a blessing to have a husband and a daddy like that!
My father was the same as your husband (a physician as well) and worked many long days. But when he was home with us, he too gave us his full attention. Growing up I never felt like he chose work over us, I just knew that he was helping others and it was a part of life.
I credit my mother for making it all seem so "normal". We celebrated life's events around my dad's work schedule. My mother never made it a big deal that birthdays might have to be celebrated a few days early/late in order to include my father. She somehow made it special and fun, and as a child, that is what matters the most.
As we got older and my father's practice got more established, he made it a point to once a week to try to take off for an event my siblings and I were involved in (volleyball games for my sister and me, golf matches for my brother). I must say, it made me feel very important that my dad took off work to come watch me play volleyball, even if it wasn't every match or ever week for that matter. He was making the effort, and I saw that.
I think all that matters is how you spend the time you do have together.
This is so refreshing and encouraging. I think it is often so easy to become focused on ourselves, see the negatives, and complain about our spouses-how they are meeting our needs/expectations. So much of it boils down to perspective. My Bible study teacher noted that it's hard to complain when you choose to be thankful.
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