I know most people with more than one child deal with different teachers, different classrooms, different expectations year after year. I have not had to do this before. We are transitioning from being 3 of 12 in a class to each being one of 18 (or 3 of 54). I am intimidated by the number of families I need to get to know, the children's names to remember...and the birthday parties...oh my! I spent the time driving home glancing at three Sally Foster packets wondering how we are going to handle hitting up the grandparents for all three children.
My husband was stuck at work, so I spent this evening enduring the stress of trying to make it from classroom to classroom since all three presentations were going on simultaneously. I like being prepared and I am sure I missed a great deal tonight. In addition to the mechanics of trying to shuffle them from room to room, I was trying get each child excited individually about their teacher and classroom. Did I mention trying to keep them still through a 15 minute adult presentation/meeting? UGGHH! My chest hasn't been as full and tight as it is this evening since my pregnancy induced heartburn.
I know this is not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. Countless parents are experiencing the same emotions right now. It is what comes with the tenderness of a mother's heart...a beautiful, but incredibly vulnerable thing.
Until this point in their lives, I have truly taken for granted how much security and comfort I have in knowing my three have each other. It will not always be so. Part of growing up for them will be learning to stand on their own two feet, but their bond is a beautiful, precious thing. I read Ecclesiastes 4 tonight and cried.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
There is so much more to their identity than being triplets, but it is a part of who they are. Splitting them up will not be any easier if I wait. It is a milestone. I do feel in my heart that this is the right thing for the children's growth and development. But, this is a very big step for us...maybe as much (or more) for me as for them. The children have shown no real concern about being split.
I find my comfort in knowing that much prayer went into this decision. This is God's Will for K, P & R's little lives...and it is His Will for mine. My task is just to trust Him.
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3 (NIV)
Lord, make my mind steadfast. Control my thoughts. Calm my anxiety. Quiet my fears.
(Picture taken in September 2006)P.S. My husband came home right as I was finishing up this post. He teased that I should title it, "I cried the ugly cry while writing this." It was the perfect comic relief.
16 comments:
oh my my friend! Take comfort that God is in control and you aren't. Aren't we all ultimately thankful for that. He has you right where you need to be. Yes, it is all something that we are going through, yours is just multiplied X 3 at one time! Bless you my friend. This too shall pass. You know all that you need to right now for this. It is just hard tugging on the heart like this. You will be in my prayers in the next few days!
Can we get coffee on Thurs. morning right after the drop-offs?!
So enjoyed today, thanks for the call!
Hi there, I've enjoyed reading your blog for a few months now, thank you for sharing your heart. I loved today's entry, it was encouraging to me. I homeschool my four girls, all very close in age, but I know one day they will go to school and your sentiments are exactly what my heart struggles with when I think about it! We've just moved overseas though and for now I'm reminding myself to trust in the Lord regarding other issues, and to remember His faithfulness to us. Thank you for sharing, I pray on Thursday that you have God's perfect peace!
I would have been overwhelmed in that situation as well. If your sweeties are anything like The Bean at my house, they will surprise you over and over again at how well they take to whatever comes their way. Preemies seem to do that.
http://ispeakbeanish.wordpress.com
sometimes it's so painful being a mom, i think i will burst
That sounds extremely overwhelming!! I'm praying for you through this transition. I know who I'll be calling when it's my turn.
Wow!
I am a teacher and think you are a great mom. I'm sure the decision to have each child in a different class was a difficult one, so I've been silently commending you for doing this at this stage in your kids' lives. . . but I never considered how difficult the transition would be since you have to spread yourself among three teachers, three sets of parents, etc.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
Will you keep posting about the games you play with your kids to help them learn positive habits? I love those. . .
Oh, I did ok until the picture. Then, my eyes welled up with tears. My girls are still just babes, but a good friend of mine is struggling with sending her oldest off to Kindergarten. The one thing she has done that has given her the most peace is everytime she starts to get upset or worried or overwhelmed, she just stops and prays for him, his teachers, his peers, and she said that each time, God calms her heart. Good luck!
You are indeed making the right decision & doing it early in their lives is best. As a preschool teacher myself who has seen multiples in the classroom together & other multiples split up, 9 times out of 10, they do better being on their own, able to create their own little world with their own individual friends, their own special time that they can claim all for themself. Some multiples do fine together, but more often than not, they play together (away from the rest of the classmates) & never really get involved w/ the other kids. (Either that, or they're partners in crime, so they get in trouble together! ha ha)
Anyway, feel free to email if you want to talk or need a pat on the back now & then. You're such a great mom & it's awesome that you put this decision to prayer. :)
What a perfect picture for this time of your life! They will do fine in school...but I have to say that was the hardest transition in my life...sending one (not three!) off to school and feeling empty-handed. Good luck...you and they will be fine.
I loved that picture when you made it. Praying for you as you begin this new phase of your life.
The "Ugly Cry" part - hilarious. Make sure you have Kleenex in your vehicle after drop off.
Ah! How exciting! The start of a new school year always brings first day jitters and excitement. I love living vicariously through you. I can't imagine someday when we have children living these moments.
Best of luck!
Just dropped my one off at kindergarten this morning... the house surely is quiet, as I know yours will most definitely be! Praying for all school mommies this morning...
First of all do not let my name fool you--I am a female mom of 4 children 2 of them twins. Oh my heart breaks for you. My twins are boy/girl so that may have something to do with them not being too overly dependant on each other. i am separating them for the 1st time and they are going into 5th grade!!!!! i asked their teacher each year if they thought they were too dependant, needy, etc and if I needed to separate them--all of them said NO--they were so different and had different friends, etc. They have really asked this year to be separate so the other one isn't so much in their business--so I relented. It was always selfish on my part because of all the overwhelming things you listed like bday parties, classmates names, field trips, different homework/test schedules, etc. You are a wonderful mom and I love your blog. I will be praying for you. My baby starts 5K this year too. God bless from Alabama!
An ugly cry always makes me feel like a new person. Follow God's lead and all will be well. I am the poster child for needing to be in control...it has been my biggest struggle...to just let go and trust that all will be taken care of. Thanks for the Isaiah verse. It was the perfect addition to my day.
The ugly cry... that cracked me up because I'm sure all of us moms have had the ugly cry at some time or another, and to an outsider or someone who does not have children, just do not get it. I have 2 boys that are a year apart and this is he 1st year they are going to separate schools. My oldest is in kindergarten at public school and my youngest will be in Headstart preschool. Caleb's first day of school, when he came home, Coby... God bless his heart... Coby missed him so much that he was desparately trying to get Caleb's attention by poking on him... it was so sweet and I felt so bad that Coby had to spend all day without his big brother. He was more than thrilled when he got out of school.
That picture did me in. And this post just captured my heart. I've never thought about this particular heartache before. It's hard enough to watch my four-year-old miss his seven-year-old sister when school starts up again. I can't imagine all my children being separated from each other at the same time.
But as you say, it's time. And God is your rock. It will all be good!
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