R is for Relationship

R is the child who seems to need the most of me. He seeks my approval and my attention more than the other two. He is all boy--rough, independent, baseball playing, etc... but he needs that 'touchstone' of checking back in with me frequently to make sure this independence he is enjoying doesn't mean he can't still have his Mama.

As a result of this relationship, disciplining him is easiest. All that is required to get his attention is to explain that he has hurt my feelings with his disrespect/disobedience/dishonesty, etc... I am very aware of how important our relationship is to him and try to navigate the tricky waters with wisdom. I do not ever want to be manipulative. Even when I express my disappointment, I MUST simultaneously remind him of my unconditional love.

Last night he lied to me about something three times to avoid punishment. As a consequence he got the "trust is essential in love and relationship" talk and a lecture about the value of one's Word. We then all went for our traditional Monday night Mexican dinner (kids eat free--woo hoo).

As we arrived at the restaurant, R announced that he was going to get our table while Daddy & I ordered the food. I saw him industriously moving chairs around as I walked up with our drinks.
"Wow, R. Great job setting this up for everyone."
"This table is for Daddy & the other kids," he announced.
Then he pointed to the adjacent table (where he had removed all but two chairs that he left sitting side by side), "That is the table for just me & you."

It warmed my heart and made me nervous all at the same time. I do work hard at having special individual relationships with each child. I want to be sensitive and available to meet their emotional needs. But at the end of the day, we are a family of five.

I explained that I'd like to sit with the whole family, but would love to have him next to me. Then I felt a little guilty all through dinner. Meeting wants vs. meeting needs. Teaching community vs. embracing individual relationships. These are tricky waters, indeed! I am so glad I have a Lord to bring this all to.

Lord, lead me and guide me one situation at a time. Keep my heart tender and my eyes open. Grant me wisdom and freedom from guilt. I thank you that I can lean against Your throne and find my PEACE.