Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Intentional Motherhood

For some time now I have been pondering the whole idea of motherhood as vocation. Specifically how to balance the competing voices whose polar extremes consider motherhood akin to sainthood in regards to the sacrifice of self (martyrdom) and those who consider it the ultimate waste of a bright, professional brain.

I have read plenty of essays and editorials where women describe running back to the workplace, not because financial hardship required it or they felt some sense of calling, but because they did not want to be lumped into the category of those 'pitiful, backwards women who try to make motherhood a career.' (Their words and inferences, not mine!)

This morning, during my weekly small group, I started to get a handle on my Biblical defense of why I take my role as mother so seriously. We were discussing I Corinthians 9:24-27.

First, from the NIV:
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

In the Message version it says:
"You've all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You're after one that's gold eternally. I don't know about you, but I'm running hard for the finish line. I'm giving it everything I've got. No sloppy living for me! I'm staying alert and in top condition. I'm not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself."

Run to win. No sloppy living! I want to give my children, my husband...my God, my very best. What is wrong with that?

It is not about me. It is not about being Super Mom or earning brownie points with God. It is about obediently and humbly offering my life as a living sacrifice to the One who has made me and sustains me.

Of course we will fall. We will make wrong turns, stumble, find ourselves breathless, grow weary. But, regardless of our inability to do it perfectly, I think we are called to live life on purpose and with a purpose. To practice reactive living is contrary to every exhortation we receive in Scripture. Live. Run. Serve. Give. Work. Teach. Love.

In the words of Colossians 3:23: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."

17 comments:

Liz said...

Way to go! Great post!

Cheri (aka "The Mom Lady") said...

I applaud your study to "show yourself approved" as a career wife and mother. It's a job that gets scant respect from "the world" for sure but one that has rewards beyond a bonus and a title. When we lived overseas those many years, I would get so annoyed at some women who made a BIG point about how they were "taking time off" from their "MBA degree jobs" to "just stay at home and enjoy the easy life" while overseas. Like motherhood and/or being a wife was something that required a fifth of your brain and even less of your time.

Do it; do it right. Or don't do it at all. Harsh perhaps but my personal opinion. I've been on my soapbox many times in the past 30 years about this very subject. Not everyone can afford to be a full-time mother but I know many women who do without so their children will not do without THEM growing up.

Children are not pets, to have because they are "in style" or "the time is right for me now". They are a blessing of the Lord and a great responsibility. And they learn by example so kudos to you for setting a good one.

I must get some help now to get me off the soapbox again...

Kelly @ Love Well said...

I don't know if you read Bub and Pie, but she has a great post with a similar vein today: Dream Job.

Basically, her premise is that stay-at-home moms have every 20-something's dream job. Only the world would never look at it that way.

Kathy said...

AMEN. And cheri's comment hit home for me, too.

Jenny said...

I loved this post. I've read those verses several times before, but tonight I got a fresh glimpse. What a great word of encouragement you've given us today. Thank you!

melissa said...

Scripture is definitely the best place to look for wisdom in anything, really. But, may I also recommend a book called, The Mission of Motherhood, by Sally Clarkson. Great thoughts there about our roles as moms.

Courtney said...

This is good...very good :) Have a great day...runnin' towards the cross

Mom of Eleven said...

J,
Great Post. I agree whole-heartedly. Yes, It gets very hard, but we run the race because we are called to. The world doesn't get it, we shouldn't expect them to. Remember "shine like stars in a crooked and depraved generation".
You are doing a great job
w

elizabeth said...

Absolutely! Great post. I think we are called to live like this, but then I too often pride myself for the work I have done, instead of truly being humble and giving God all the glory. Such a fine, fine line. Only He can help me with that.
E

Girl Raised in the South said...

Have you heard of Sally Clarkson, who wrote Mission of Motherhood and Ministry of Motherhood? Fabulous author I bet you'd enjoy. Loved reading this.

Kim said...

Delurking here to say, GREAT POST! I am in a new season right now ~ with both children in school for the first time. And, I've spent much of this year trying to figure it out. I've recently come to the same conclusion... that God has called me into this role to do my very best ~ for Him, for my husband, and my children.

Housework and the like sometimes feels unworthy when someone asks, "What do you do with all that time?".... but, ALL of the jobs of Mommyhood are important and worthy!

Thanks for the post. Love your blog!
Kim

cacfus said...

As a new stay at home mom, this post really encouraged me. It is so easy to forget the reason why we do what we do - simply because God calls us to. Thanks!

Mary Lou said...

I was priveleged to stay at home and raise my children and care for our home and my husband. I have never regretted my choice and neither has my husband. I have two adult children who are stable individuals who give back to society. They might not have been as stable and productive had I chosen to be in the work force. Plenty of people have to work , I was blessed to have the choice and I enjoyed every minute of it with no regrets. God called me to it and I did it..Thank you for this post. May it encourage many young mothers to look to Him and relish their time with thier children. The time goes by so quickly...and then they are grown. Enjoy your three just as you are, you will continue to be blessed and you are blessing the world.

Pam said...

This post reflects you at your best, JMom.

I remember thinking before we'd ever met that I was so drawn to the "thinker" in you. Thanks for your perspective and for the truth that supports it. I sure appreciate you.

JenB said...

Well said, girlfriend! You've just expressed my heart to a T! And much more eloquently than I would do it, ha!

Amy said...

Very well put...it's not about us, it's about Him and living our lives to glorify Him!

Missy said...

The word Intentional has so been in my mind lately. I have so many dreams for my children's future, and I am frequently reminded that usually things don't just poof, happen. I need to be INTENTIONAL. Which means taking it very seriously, and coming up with a game plan. And seeking God's wisdom every single step of the way.

Ok - ready, set, GO!