I have waited a couple of days to share this experience, because I have not really known how to (or if I should). It is still weighing somewhat heavy on my heart, so here goes nothing.
Saturday night at the concert we attended, two couples near us were engaging in over the top displays of public affection. No doubt, their lowered inhibitions were largely due to their extreme intoxication. One of the couples was so outrageous in their actions that security had to get involved. It was unbelievable. Even more upsetting was the fact that the female moved on to engage in additional obscene behavior with another man.
I was not raised in a particularly sheltered environment. I have, unfortunately, seen a lot through my service at crisis pregnancy centers, a group home for abused and neglected adolescents--and frankly, by virtue of my involvement in a sorority at a large state university. Years of youth work have exposed me to terrible stories. Yet, I was very, very effected by this experience. I really feel like I was forced to watch something I had no desire to see and it has marked my brain. For most of the remainder of the concert I thought about the women involved. What experiences had they had in their lives that had left them with such low self worth that they were willing to be used shamelessly as playthings? How would they feel the next day? Those women are somebody's little girls. It is heartbreaking!
I wanted to come home and seal my family up in a bubble. I even told myself I would not attend another concert unless it was a Christian artist. I don't want to chance being in the middle of such overt yuckiness. There were a couple of middle school aged children sitting close to us who also witnessed this behavior. What will I do when my own children are old enough to be in environments like this? It would be so much easier to live in a bubble than to deal with the reality of what this world holds.
That's Biblical right? To guard your heart? To think only on things that are pure, noble, lovely...
Yet, I know we are called to live IN the world, even if not OF it. Jesus Christ himself befriended and communed with the maligned, unclean, rejected sinners of his time. We are called to live lives marked by love. We are to live lives that face outward, not inward.
But loving outwardly often involves hurting for those souls. And it is hard. Just ask Jesus.
13 comments:
The fact that you also saw these women "somebody's little girls" shows me that you are looking at them with the eyes of Jesus, dear JMom.
While it would be easier and less painful to face "inward", we are certainly called to commune among and minister to those who have had no opportunity for "bubble living."
Thanks for again revealing thoughts that I share and reminding me of Jesus in the midst of it all.
Maybe you could suggest a couple ways we could serve those in our community in the next few days.
I am looking for ways our family can get involved in helping where needed while DP is off for the holidays. Email me if you have a free moment and any ideas. Thanks! : )
Sorry your evening was spoiled by the obscene actions of others. While we are taught to think Christian thoughts about others, we should take action and not excuse such behavior. If we just ignore such actions, it continues as this demonstrates. We have just as much right to enjoy ourselves without the discomfort of others spoiling it. Also, the fact that younger people were there adds to the fact the offenders should be removed and told why. I too find it easier to just stay home to avoid such situations but if we don't let others know we are offended the behavior continues.
Thank you for being such a caring and good Christian, wife, mother and friend to many and inspiration to all and Merry Christmas.
I had a similar experience while tailgating at a football game here. A young woman was just behaving in the most ridiculous way. As people took pictures with their cellphones as she engaged in a tawdry activity, all I could think was that she has a mother somewhere who would not want her daughter behaving that way. What is it in these women's lives (or men's) that has caused them to diminish themselves to the point that any attention is good? It does break your heart and make you want to stay home.
I have never commented here before, but truly love your site.
I am torn in situations such as these. We, as Christians, are called to be lights in this dark world. But how do we as parents teach our children to be lights without exposing them to such bad situations during their life. I alternate between wanting to live in a bubble and wanting to teach them to live the lives we were called to live. I guess my fear is that the bad will permeate their lives instead of their lives permeating the bad. It's then I realize that my faith is weak and I need to trust in God more.
I do, however, feel that there are places Christians should not go. And this type of place may be one of them. I have not been to a concert in so long that I am shocked that this would happen. But unfortunately this is the world we live in. I do try to think of how the parents of these people would react..and my answer is that they may not even care. That, too, is the world we live in.
Thank God for Godly parents!
No real words of wisdom. Just wanted you to know that I also struggle with balancing the "in the world but not of it" concept.
Being a Mom today is hard. I don't want to expose my kids to the yuck that's out there.
But I also know Jesus consciously chose to live among the yuck. It's why we celebrate Christmas. I'm in awe of His grace.
J-mom
It definately is biblical that we are to guard our hearts, I feel the same way. As a matter of fact the horribleness of what I lived through as a child and teenager did not harden me to the sin of this world. It still repulses me to this day to see abuse to children and sin in general.
I decided that I would not keep my children from the world because you can't. They must learn to not be comfortable in it but live in it. I taught my children begining at a young age, especially when we were out and saw things that were not approritae, we always sat down and talked about it.
Trust me if anyone could have raised thier babies in a bubble it would have been me, but I wanted to teach them it is up to us to share the love of the father if we don't who will?
I have had something similar happen to me one time when I went to a movie. I leaned over and said that is not appropriate and I paid money to see a movie not that.
I am sorry you had to witness that, it is ridiculous that people cannot at least have enough morals to keep it private. You are right though it is about thier self worth that causes them to act in that manner, we as christians need to teach our children better and I have no doubt that you and R will do just that!
I believe it's biblical - at least it is biblical not to expose our children to the world. It's the same situation as christian/public school. Both are great, but our family has been criticized for sending our children to a Christian school. One reason being that we shouldn't take the 'light' out of public schools. My answer is always the same - there most certainly is a need for the 'light' in Christian schools as well. Just because it's Christian doesn't mean all Christian children attend - just like not all children in church are Christians. It's just that we KNOW what is being taught to our kids - the Bible and Christian principles.
Also, we hear often that our children aren't going to know how to survive in the real world and they are going to be sheltered. There is a wonderful quote in the book "Lies Women Believe". I'm paraphrashing, but it says that nowhere in the Bible does it say to expose our children to sin so they can cope with sin. It instead tells us to teach our children about Jesus, his love and how to handle situations biblically so that when they are faced with sin and the world, they will recognize a lie and see if for what it is.
I know I'm rambling, but I work with the youth at my church and I see so much that I become afraid for my young children (6 and 2). I have to pray and ask God to help me keep my focus. There is too much 'sin' in the world to expose them intentionally. It's a tough balance, but one I feel that God helps us do effectively. We have to make good decisions as parents as to what we will allow them to be exposed to.
Oh I want to wrap my family up in a bubble too! I know too what you wrote is true about reaching out - Everytime I get jerked back to reality I realize how I have fallen in the area of prayer. I need to get busy praying for my kids as they grow up and prepare someday to be the arms and hands of Christ reaching a hurting world. Thanks for this post and reminder! Have a great night!Sunshine
What a thought-provoking post. I know what you mean why you say "they are someone's little girls". I think about that fact a lot when I see or think about the things some women do. I also understand about our brain being marked...I was in Athens, Greece when I was a flight attendant, and on a street corner was a kiosk that sold postcards. They were out in the open where any child could see them. Next to the ones with pictures of sunsets or the Acropolis and "Wish you were here" were photos of beastiality with funny little captions. Those images will be burned on my brain forever.
I've followed your blog for quite some time, and I enjoy it immensely. I have not signed in often, even though I read every day. I just wanted you to know that you are a wonderful mother, and inspiration to many, and a wonderful Christian role model. I want to wish you and your entire family a very Merry Christmas.
Also, I was emailed this blog today.. and I immediately thought of you. A family with triplets lost one to a very tragic accident in the home due to an overturned dresser. They could use some extra prayers.
http://tripletsplusofkc.blogspot.com
As my oldest is 11, I want, even more, to put them in a bubble. Its crazy and sad, but its this world we live in. The real world has not hit my children yet. We protect them as much as we can.
I'm sorry this happened to you. The best thing we can ever do for our children is constantly dialogue with them about everything we see that we feel like is something they should not have seen or heard at their age.
I hope tomorrow is a great day for you and your precious children!
J-mom, this is so my heart as well. It is so hard to raise children in this world!! Deidre mentioned the book lies women believe. I read that and remember the chapter she was talking about. I pulled it out, and here is a quote from that book that stuck with me. . .
"No one would think of taking a young tender plant and planting it outside on a day like today (snowy and cold) and have any hopes of it surviving. That's what a greenhouse is for -- to provide an optimum environment for plants to grow. Then, when their roots have developed and they are strong enough to withstand adversity, they can be transplanted to the outdoors."
I have mixed feelings, as well, about all this. But, I do believe that is okay to shelter to a degree while they are young. Jesus went out into the world at age 30. We don't know what he did when he was a child?? Most likely, I'd think he was at home alot - studying carpentry under his father??
My mom used to always say that the way they teach men to pick out counterfeit money is not by studying the counterfeit, but rather by studying the real thing - so that when they are exposed to the counterfeit - it is obviously wrong to them. And, that makes perfect sense to me. We just have to fill them up with the real thing while they are young - and when they are older and exposed to scenes like you were exposed to - it will, hopefully, have the same effect on them as it did you.
The "someone's little girls" just got to me. So true.
We were at a concert Saturday night as well where a similar thing happend. (My husband took me to see Jim Brickman for my b'day!) We didn't see this happen, but overheard an older lady talking about it on our way to the car.
It's shocking, but like you my heart hurts. These are people who just need Jesus! Where would I be without Him? Thank you God for saving me!
Have a blessed Christmas!
stephanie
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