Our little turkeys performed in the preschool program last night. Proving that motherhood has permanently altered my emotional barometer, I started crying when the first class uttered their opening notes. It did not seem to matter to my tear ducts or my heart that they were not my children.
I once prided myself in the fact that I did not cry in front of people ever--even when it was legitimate. I am now an emotional mess (or shall we call it a tender, sensitive soul? :-)
I struggled to understand what made me so tearful, until I realized those BIG 4 year olds on the stage were only a year older than my children. My only children. And was it really 12 months ago that I was watching my 2 year olds on that stage?
It is trite, but that doesn't change the fact that it is true: These days are fleeting.
I am generally really peaceful about the fact that this is 'it' for us. Our family feels complete. Some days I do still regret that I am "drinking from a firehose" when it comes to motherhood. How different would it be if I had done this one baby at a time? I grieve the loss of those precious moments of one-on-one bonding with a new baby. Or mornings while the older children are at preschool to drink in the little one. But, oh, how grateful I am for the gift of three precious ones, where there once were none!
I would not change our story. Truly, comparison is the thief of all joy. Allowing my mind to wander and wonder is a fruitless exercise.
Thank you God for a life that is uniquely ours. May we glorify you with it always.
Now I am off to chase my little turkeys around the house. They are dressed in their turkey shirts and hats, running into the room shouting "You can't eat me!" then giggling as they dash away. I think that deserves some tickles!