Thursday, October 11, 2007

Need

The man of our house has been out of town for 4 1/2 days. I haven't mentioned it previously, because of the many things you don't want to broadcast across the Internet, a woman at home alone with small children for days on end probably ranks high on the list.

Although he does not travel without us often, it does happen occasionally that he will attend a conference in a place we decide not to take the children along. In the past, we have powered through with me missing him but the routine otherwise not greatly disrupted. This time was different. The children (P in particular) really miss him. They have been acting out at school and generally on edge.

This is a hard age for me, since my lack of patience is a real stumbling block. To add "no adult conversation" to already challenging days has been difficult to say the least. So, you can imagine my delight when Daddy called home last night to inform me that he was cutting his trip short and returning today. Seems the fishing trip he had tagged on the end of the conference was going to be experiencing some rough waters and less than ideal conditions, so it was cancelled. THANK YOU, GOD!!!!

Because we were older when we married (27 and 30) and are both quite independent, I have long wrestled with how to make my husband feel needed without being the annoying kind of needy. I am fiercely independent and struggle with pride in my capable-ness. Because of his long hours and unpredictable schedule, the truth is I must be capable of handling most anything around here including days on end of very little time with Daddy.

Much like my three year olds, I have a hard time admitting that I need much of anything. It is akin to a declaration of weakness, inadequacy or inability. This week I have been reminded that I not only love him, respect him, appreciate him and enjoy him...I. Need. Him. Our family needs him. We need his strength, his steadfastness, his love, his support, his leadership. He rounds out my weaknesses and brings great gifts to this family. We are not "us" without him. Even if it is sometimes only for a few minutes a day, Daddy's presence carries a lot of weight in this family.

I was able to get a lot of quiet time this week while the children were sleeping and have tried to spend it seeking wisdom on how to be the wife, mother, woman God has called me to be. For the next 3 1/2 days as we have Daddy with a clear schedule, I'll get to put some of the things I have been convicted of to practice.

Goal #1: Respect, honor and appreciate the man I love.

7 comments:

Ami said...

I believe that this is the first time I've ever commented on your blog, but I read it every day. I find so much of what you write about to be a mirror of my life. Thank you for the reminder today to let my husband know that I do need him, in spite of my independent nature.

Barbie@ Mamaology said...

What a sweet post to the Daddy over there.

I can really relate to this post. I too tend to be very independent... to my fault and sometimes my demise (of patience that is:)

My husband is a full time Bible college student and part time sales rep. So many days we are lacking a Daddy around here. But when he is here I have learned to treasure that time. To seep out all I can. And I've learned to say, "I need your help." too:)It's humbling but very true!!!

Mary@notbefore7 said...

Wow. So well said. I was just thinking tonight about how much my hubby does for me. There are times I let it go unappreciated.

Enjoy your 3 1/2 days as a whole family. May he feel appreciated!

Sallie said...

My husband is a Marine and has been gone more often than I care to count away from us. When our children were really little, he did a video of himself reading their favorite stories and sent that video and the books back home to them as a gift. The oldest two are teens now and still watch that video if dad leaves! Maybe he could do this and at least you have something for them to listen to and have with his voice.. that alone can be comforting to a little one!

I'm having a giveaway on my blog today through Monday at midnight.. Hope ya stop by and leave a comment :-)

God bless,
Sallie

Yankee said...

Time away can be terribly difficult. In the 'early days' of being married, my husband was a Dr with the Army, and gone on training or missions a lot. To help our children through this, every deployment he would put a chocolate kiss in a vase for each day he would be gone, with a vase of kisses for each child. This helped the kids visualize how soon he'd be home, and they felt connected to him even through they were apart. Thankfully nowadays we've replaced the vase with a little clear candy bowl, capable of holding only a few kisses. Still difficult, but the kids still love this reassurance from dad.

Tamatha

HW said...

My husband has always traveled a great deal for his job - often overseas. After 20 years, I still feel incomplete when he's away. I tell him our circle doesn't close while he's gone.
I can relate very well to your post.

Melene@Sing For Joy said...

Our girls are 9 and 11 and my husband will return a week from tomorrow after having been gone for 4 months. He's an Air Force Man and we love him, but the time apart definitely helps us appreciate each other more and things just feel like they should when he's at home. I'm thankful he didn't have long deployments when our girls were very young.

Melene@ Sing For Joy
http://jmeg.typepad.com