Bittersweet birthdays

"They grow up before you know it. "

"You blink your eyes and these days are gone."

"The days are long, but the years are short."

"Savor these moments."

Trite, overused phrases like these have been repeated to me countless times through the past 3 years of being a Mom. Internally, I roll my eyes and think, "Oh, how time has helped you forget." How could anyone miss getting up at all hours of the night, changing diapers, whininess and clinginess, the helpless feeling of trying to guess why your baby is crying, exhaustion, going days without a shower and the loneliness of motherhood? Only now, as I sit at the end of toddlerhood and beginning of childhood I finally get it.

They do grow up "all of the sudden." This week, it is literally like a switch has been flipped in my children. They look and act older. I am even beginning to feel a little guilty dressing the boys in john johns (just a little :-). K wants to help me pick out clothes in the morning. We argue over shoes and she pulls her cutesy bows out of her hair within minutes. We have real conversations. They ask amazing questions. They invent games that keep them entertained for longer periods of time. The whining has decreased drastically. They want to help with chores like sweeping the floor, loading the dryer, feeding the dog and putting away dishes. They tell me what they want to eat when we go to a restaurant. When they draw, sometimes the objects are actually recognizable (balloons are a current favorite). K reminds me to "me-member" my keys. R reminds me I shouldn't be walking around with food, but should sit down to eat instead. P says his own prayers, complete with, "in Je-sus name, A-men!"

Day in and day out we work on these things, then one day it seems it is starting to stick. God grants us little glimpses. Truly, encouragement for the years to come.

I am not foolish enough to believe there won't be many, many more lessons to learn and relearn. (We still haven't potty trained, remember?) This is just the beginning. Thankfully, they still need me to carry them downstairs in the morning on the Mommy Train ("hugga hugga choo choo"). I still wipe their tears and solve their hurts with kisses and Dora bandaids. They still think Daddy can fix anything and Mommy knows everything. But, things are changing in our family. I am told several times a day, "Momma, I am BIG" or "I do it my-se-ulf!"

This is a bittersweet birthday. I relish their independence, but I miss their baby smell. I long to just sit and rock them. I delight in who they are. I savor their hugs and find no greater feeling in the world than holding their hand or an impromptu hug.

I feel motherhood is getting better everyday. I am overwhelmed with love. What an amazing ride this is!