Saturday, August 19, 2006

Terrific Twos

I gave up parenting books several months ago. I was spending a lot buying them, but not having time to read them. I did read parts of enough different books to realize that at the end of the day you have to do what works for your family, your values and your individual children. So, until someone writes a book about KR&P, I will be saving my money for other things. :-)

I say all that because I think there is a John Rosemond book about "Making the Twos Terrific." I do not own it, but I think I have discovered one of the secrets. KNOW YOUR CHILDREN. I am learning that if I recognize what my individual children's triggers are, anticipate them and even avoid them when possible, life is good.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying everything goes smoothly all the time around here. Nor am I suggesting that we have adjusted our whole lives to revolve around the children.

As a matter of fact, the best advice I received from a Mom of older triplets was "Do not live your family life any differently than you would have if they had been born one at a time. If you do, you'll look back one day with lots of regret." Turns out, this has been priceless advice. We eat out 4-5 times a week. We have travelled on 5 vacations with the children in the last 2 years...just as we would have done with 1 (well, except with more stuff and an extra pair of hands.) We have made priceless memories, even if people think we are crazy for our attempts!

I'd like to think we are learning teamwork, mutual respect and community. I respect my children's limits, needs and when appropriate their wants. In turn, I expect that they will respect my authority.

I am also learning that I have to let go a little bit every now and then. Sometimes I just have to let them make a big mess, even though it is a really big pain to clean up 3 children.

In return, I am blessed by the exuberance and unbridled joy of the 3 cutest kids I have ever mothered. :-)

11 comments:

Teresa said...

We're almost to the terrible twos...so I better watch out!!!

My daughter was fine with 2...it was 3 that just about did me in!

I agree with your outlook. You're the best one to know your kids anyway so just do what comes naturally and leave the books behind.

You're my hero for all you do with 3!!! I'm amazed!

Alison said...

I love all the pics, but the one that intrigues me was the tub picture. What exactly do you have on the wall? It looks fabulous!

JenMom said...

Teresa- How YOU juggle working and loving on your 3 is amazing. Most of the "all we do" is to preserve my sanity and help me still feel like a real person!

Alison-I am not sure what you are referring to, the Noah's ark wallpaper or the Dora bath foam? :-)

Perri said...

Sounds like you'll be writing your own book one day.
Relax, enjoy - it passes all too quickly.

JenMom said...

Perri- There is absolutely no book in the works here. It would be way too short...Pray hard. Love your family. Then pray some more that God would fix all that you did wrong.
Addie at aabusaada.blogspot.com used to have a quote in her tagline that said something to the effect of, "She had learned there was no way to be the perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
AMEN!

LeslieAnn said...

The only books around here are Dr. Seuss and Sandra Boynton!! If I read every book and tried to apply it to our situation...I would be in a fetal position feeling like the biggest failure!

I agree...know your kids and anticipate what's going to set them off or make them happy and go for it!

I learned this the very, very hard way while spending a weekend with our 3 best friends and their families...I think my exact words when Todd and I were alone were, "I am such a loser." I now know our situation is different and we have to do what works for us. (And sometimes it still doesn't!)

I love the Bounty pictures!!! :)

Liz said...

These pics are super cute! God is so great and gives us our precious little ones to teach us so much!
Your little "jewels" look like they LOVE LIFE and have so much fun.
God bless you Jenmom!!!
In Christ,
Liz

1girl2boys said...

Hi, I just found your blog from a comment on Teresa's blog. Your kids are absolutely beautiful. I have twins, which I find incredibly difficult enough, and so I am intrigued to read about triplets. My hat is off to you and I look forward to reading more about you and your family.

Alison said...

I guess it's the wallpaper. Is it waterproof?!? Likely a dumb question!

JenMom said...

Alison- I am not sure if it is "officially waterproof" but it has stood up to some serious splashing. This bathroom is sort of strange. It has Jack & Jill sinks, a garden tub that is really deep which makes bathing children interesting. The shower is a tile stand alone. I was stumped as to what to do with this bathroom because the tile, sinks, trim etc. are all beige...which makes it hard to find cheerful kid colors for paint or wallpaper. I painted it a pretty yellow at first (not realizing just HOW beige it all was)...and it looked HORRIBLE. When this wallpaper came along it fit the bill. Here's a link to the version I fell in love with, but the white background made the rest of the room look dirty so we had to go with the beige background version. Hope this helps!http://discountfabricsusa.stores.yahoo.net/ldepapbymo.html

Kate said...

I too gave up on parenting books. I go with common sense and instinct. Knowing your childrens God given unique personalities is the best advice I received. And lots of praying too!
I love action shots in the tub. You can feel their joy!