And Then They Were Freshmen

This morning my trio started their first day of high school. They set their own alarms, chose their own dress down day clothing, packed their own bags, and one of them even drove us to school. (It was her week in our rotation.)

I feel like I should have something poignant and emotional to say about this milestone, but the truth is I have peace. They are ready. My husband and I are excited for them.

There is certainly much to learn and experience in the years ahead. 
Mistakes to be made. 
Tears to be shed. 
Apologies to offer and seek.
Victories to be celebrated. 
Losses to mourn. 
Accomplishments to be achieved. 
Gifts to discover. 
Friendships to be built. 
Laughter to be had. 
Love to give and receive.  
Memories to be made. 

I loved my own high school experience and hope my people can look back upon theirs with fondness. But it is theirs, not mine...so I plan to find my place in this new world. Their prayer warrior, cheerleader, coach, soft place to land, chauffeur, chef, and biggest fan. 

In some ways, the first day of freshman year feels like the beginning of the end--but mostly it seems we have finally begun. 

My husband and I attempted our own send-off ceremony of sorts last night--which included a steak dinner and conversations about identity, goals, safety, and expectations. (This article was a huge help and conversation catalyst.) 

I had an agenda that was occasionally interrupted by laughter and some teasing by my funny teenagers. We capped it off with a chocolate molten lava cake, prayer and Mario Kart on the Wii. 

It seemed a fitting way to start this chapter--with intentionality, allowing space for laughter and the randomness of real life to interrupt.

I keep thinking about the terrified younger versions of me...
the 2002 version who wondered if her infertility would keep her from ever being called Mama, 
the 2003 version reeling from news that she was pregnant with not one, but three babies, 
the 2004 version worried that she would never be able to carve out one-on-one time with her children, unsure how on Earth she would make it through tearful infant afternoons, muchless toddler tantrums, 
and all the other versions in between that occasionally allowed herself to fall into fearful what ifs instead of hope-filled trust and wonder.

And here we are...teenaged, driver's permit bearing, high school students. 

It seemed important to stop and plant a flag today--marking my emotions. The words that come to mind are peace, excitement, hope and above all gratitude. 

Here we go.